What do you do?

I’ve never been the type that voluntarily hurts someone
I can’t bear to see anyone, family or not, in pain
I think it’s because I’ve been through so much
And I know how it feels to constantly hurt

When my dad died, I felt like I lost half of myself
There were so many things I never got to do, never got to say
There’s this void in my heart that I just can’t get passed
It’s a piece of my life that will forever be destroyed

When my first, serious boyfriend broke up with me, I thought I’d always be alone
I never thought I was pretty enough to get anyone else
I did, but now it’s all falling apart right in front of me
I must confess, I’m afraid of being alone, I blame that on my daddy

When almost all of my friends left, I never felt so betrayed in my life
I did everything for them and was always there
The one time I truly needed them, they left
Not because of college, but because they felt awkward around me, alone I was again

So what do you do, when you’re surrounded by people, yet you feel more alone than ever?
What do you do when your daddy leaves you at the age of 13?
What do you do when your heart leads you away from the one you’re with?
What do you do when you feel like you have to lie about who you are, just to keep your friends?

I wish there was a book I could go to that had all the answers
But that would make life easy, and life has been anything but easy for me

Everything starts to pile up, and you begin to suffocate
My thoughts have never been so scrambled about what I needed to do before