Control is Lost This work is considered exceptional by our editorial staff.

October 1, 2010
she has a time bomb in her mind.

she’s lost control again.

she’s convulsing on the floor.

she’s lost control again.

she says the feelings are coming back to her,

and that she’s ready to surrender to it all.

she’s lost control again.

I ignore her cries.

everyone keeps walking,

they don’t pay attention to the girl on the ground,

the one with translucent eyes,

and wet cheeks.

confusion is consuming her,

she’s lost control again.

the voices taking over in her mind,

she’s lost control again.

she lets go, face on fire.

starting off strong and powerful - striking air with her fists.

blood pumping through her veins.

face red as blood.

the concrete and window panes start to laugh,

and she lets herself listen to their mockery.

she yells, screams, and pushes through the crowds.

you see her unravel on the ground.

now they stop and stare,

cannot comprehend the madness of such a youth.

she is dazed and moves in jerks.

she is looking for a place to finish the beast she has been fighting for too long.

she is running now, running for what?

not even I know.

I see how she starts to release,

starts to fall into imaginary pockets of light that consume her.

suddenly, I know this girl all too well.
for that girl is me,
I look down on her body, and scream and cry all at once for someone to help.
but the insanity is too much,
it consumes my hope, my memories, and my mind.

I have gone too far, and cannot come back.

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