The Nightmare

The silence
its piercing
the light
its all blinding
the colors explode
all senses implode
all seems wrong
out of place
but this place could never be more right
joy
excitement
eager
hopeful
emotions overflowing
leaping
flying
gliding
free
then all light fads
loneliness
pain
fear
there is no one near
run
run fast
it will seek
hunt
rip
shred
kill
there are monsters
demons
the devil himself
its no use
no escape
such a cruel fate
its way too late
then the chaos disappears
you wake





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This article has 2 comments. Post your own now!

lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 6, 2011 at 5:32 pm
This was really good! Normally, when people write poems like this, they aren't very good, but surprisingly, this was amazing! Some grammer mistakes I noticed were in the second and fourth line, "its" should be "it's." Also, the line "but this place could never be more right" is a bit longer than the others, so my thought was maybe you could take the "but" off the beginning. Also the line "Run fast" seems a bit repetitive and would be better if you changed it to something else, like maybe "sprint... (more »)
 
TwinDemons replied...
Mar. 6, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Thanks!!! I actually fixed this one after already submiting it, so its better now. Thank you for your help!
 
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