Why was I born me?

“Living my life wanting to die
That’s not how life should be
Every day I wonder why
I was born me”

Always wanting to sink
Always wanting hide
So bad I can’t think
Of why I’m alive

Too ugly to be pretty
Too quiet to have a name
Dreaming of what I should be
But I’m a girl who’s just lame

Seeking to be understood
But no one seems to understand
Why I look so dark
And why I can hardly stand

I’m too kind to others
But no one seems to care
When my heart shatters
And my eyes leak sad tears

Lies and lies are what they tell me
I thought that they were my friends
I thought that they were trustworthy

After days turn into months
And months turn into years
I’m still sitting here
Crying my sad tears

Wishing that I was outgoing
Wishing that I was brave
Wanting to stop hurting
Wishing someone would
Take all the pain away

Wishing that I was beautiful
Wishing that I was smart
Wishing that I wasn’t so resentful
Wishing that something or someone could warm
My dark icy cold heart

In the end my dreams won’t come true
It’s time to stop dreaming
I need to wake up
It’s time to get real

So I brush my tears away and sigh…

“Living my life wanting to die
That’s really not how life should be
Every night I still wonder why?
Why, was I born me?”