September 30, 2010
I hung up the phone with a force that startled me
They asked me to stay, to talk about how I feel
All I wanted was to get out of there
I asked to go back to class
They let me go without a second glance
The way back to the room was blurted
By way warred tears
A staff member asked me what happened,
My emotions where ragged and torn
I broke even more
In a class where everyone sings
You notice when someone is not
When my friends turned to hug me
It was all over, I broke down
I couldn’t hold it anymore
I was led to the hallway
Where three of my friends watched me cry
That was the last time I cried
For my cousin Linda

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Hotaru said...
Mar. 23, 2011 at 3:41 pm
Your poem was okay. It seems like it is missing emotion. I can obviously tell that you were sad but I think that you need to describe how sad you were, and maybe you culd use some imagery. Also some of your words did not flow together. Anyways, most of your poem was good but i think it would be good for you to look over it again and see if you feel like making any changes. Either way, your poem was nice and I think you did a good job.
ukloveslife said...
Oct. 28, 2010 at 5:54 am
beautiful...made me wanna read it a sec time..:D
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