Whay you have done

October 6, 2010
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I was an outcast
A heart amongst the spades
But you made me an insider
Another bird in the flock
You told me when to turn the other way
That sometime it will be my day
My days were long stained with depression
But now I can turn the clock
Morning to night
Evening to afternoon
My heart to be no longer desolate as a moon
I found where I am meant to be
Finally together with my family
Being with you is always fun
Now you know what you have done





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This article has 18 comments. Post your own now!

RayOD said...
Oct. 25, 2010 at 1:11 pm
If anybody could give me some constructive criticism that would be epic. I want to get better as a poet in the making and the only way to do that is to be critqued
 
amsscoobydoo said...
Oct. 12, 2010 at 6:07 pm
Thats pretty good...i never knew you could write good like that
 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 12, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Thanks! ^.^
 
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 6:01 pm

this is so good! i absolutely loved it. you are such a great writer and i love reading your work.

rate/comment on some of my work too if you'd like. great job. keep writing!

 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 6:26 pm
I cant tell if your a bot or not but thanks! :D
Status= Happy Camper! 
 
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 6:46 pm
whats a bot?
 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Its like a program that post stuff or does stuff 4 u without u doing any work.Alot of people use it for advertisement but ur not now i know that so thanks :D
 
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 7:05 pm
hahah nooo. those compliments were definitely sincere!
 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 7:10 pm

:D ^.^ thats uber epic

 

 
Devon B. said...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 10:45 pm
You poetry is already fairly epic!! Good work!
 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Thanks alot. You have no clue how much that meant to me
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 9, 2010 at 9:15 pm
funny, i was waiting  for something like "i'm dead, thanks alot." i guess now you see what poetry made me. eitherway, i still love it captain.do your dance.
 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 2:46 am
Thanks. My poetry will soon become epic with practice.
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 8:31 am
I'm waiting for you captain, not that i fully understand what the word epic means but...i get the idea.
 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 7:05 pm
T.T just realized I misspelled what in the title
 
BoosflashThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 3:36 pm
nobodys chastizing you captain. do your dance.
 
trblue said...
Oct. 8, 2010 at 8:08 pm

your AN was no need.

i could tell from your word choice

that your were take in @ your

darkest moment. i like your line 2

 
RayOD replied...
Oct. 12, 2010 at 7:14 am
Thanks man
 
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