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Conundrum

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You can go away
Help get strangers back on track
Or you can stay
Enjoy these years you can never get back
You can do your duty to your country
Or you can be a soldier within your family
It’s a conundrum they said.

You can follow your dreams
Pour you sweat and your tears and your blood toward peace
Or you can stay with your heart
Nurture and cultivate your labor’s seeds
Risk your life for the cause you feel is right
Or be the rock for your children and your wife
It’s a conundrum they said.

Where is your place?
Is it a soldier – for your nation you sacrifice
Should you go or stay?
It’s hard to decide when they both feel right
Who do you owe more loyalty to?
Is it duty to country or family that dictates you?
What path should you tread, the right or the left?
It’s a conundrum they said.





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lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm
This is amazing! I know you are the author of the Duty books, so I think this is especially cool that you made a poem about the same concept. I loved every bit of this poem, except in the third stanza, line 3 "Should you go or stay?" I think it was too short that it sort of messed up the flow. If I were you I would either change that line completely or work on adding some more "meat" to it. I actually really like the idea of making it something along the lines of, "Is it a father-for your family... (more »)
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Apr. 2, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Thank you so much! :) haha As you pointed out I do write about duty a lot - sort of my thing. :)  I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for the suggestions!
 
PJD17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 5:07 pm
great work keep it up
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 31, 2011 at 5:37 pm
Thanks - this poem means a lot to me. :)
 
thepreachyteenager said...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 6:28 am

You should put this in part of the Duty series, it would go nicely.

Now, critiques.  I thought the first rhyming part sounded odd, but then I relized it wasn't the rhyming that was off, it just sounded repetative because you used 'back' twice in a short time.

My favorite line was 'nurture and cultivate your labor's seeds'  I don't know why it just sounded really inspired to me :)

 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 17, 2010 at 6:36 am

Oooh, that's a good idea! I should do that. :)

 

I'll brainstorm another word I can use - I hadn't even noticed that. 

 

Thanks a million! :D

 
AshTree said...
Nov. 12, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Really wonderfully put. It is an important decision and I think you captured it well. Back then when they had the uncle sam posters and such it was a large part of our lives and today some of us forget about the soldiers out there and what they are sacrificing. They have families too.
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 12, 2010 at 8:57 pm
Thanks so much.  Being a member of a military family, I really hope I did it justice. :)
 
Phoenix97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 1:06 pm
This raises interesting questions... It's powerful, the way you worded this piece. The rhyming is relevant and unforced. It doesn't read even like you "made" it rhyme but like it naturally came that way. Excellent work.
 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 1:08 pm
Thanks so much :)
 
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 1:44 pm

so good! i really love this piece. you are a great writer!

rate/comment on some of my work too if you'd like. keep writing

 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 10:20 pm
Thank you so much!  I'll check your stuff. :D
 
through_my_eyes said...
Oct. 9, 2010 at 7:13 pm

I LOVE!!!!

Great work :D

its like a mental battle put on paper in the form of poetry

 
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 9, 2010 at 9:53 pm
Thanks so much!  Duty is a constant mental battle for me (as you can see with a lot of my writing), so it is nice to see somebody who gets what I'm saying. :)
 
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