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Wonderland No More

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What do you do when you’re being thrown backwards?
Back into the dark nothingness?
Every move throws you back further,
and when you reach to the light you tumble back.

I wish I was Alice, going to a new world.
But I’m not- I’m going back to an old one,
filled with tears, unbearable defeat, and desperation.
If only there was a white rabbit to follow.

I try to scream, I don’t want to go back!
But no words come out.
I just swallow them all over again.
No one can hear my fall.

Will anyone even know I’m gone?
I need a candy that says, See Me, and another that says Know Me.
As I fall I look up, hoping I’ll see a face.
But no one’s there, and only I can hear my descent.

Everything looks familiar, like a nightmare repeating itself.
If only I could wake up, and find myself.
I need a floating grin to point me in the right direction.
But all I’ve got is me.

Hundreds of faces watch me fall now, all of them different, and exactly the same.
Each one is me; but how am I supposed to know which is real?
Then it’s hundreds of hearts breaking.
Why? Why are they breaking? I don’t know, not even why my own is.

I thought my heart was healed, patched in silver.
But it starts to crack, faster with each second.
Patches of light appear, and I grab at them desperately shouting.
Each flash only makes me fall quicker.

What do you do when you’re being thrown backwards?
Back into the dark nothingness?
Scream and fight it? Yell for someone to hear you?
Or will that only make you fall faster,
back into what used to be?

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