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Blue Eyes

I want out
This is done
Can’t believe I thought
You were the one

You turned on me,
I’ll turn on you—
An eye for an eye,
Because yours were blue?

Sky-blue eyes
Meeting earth-brown
Pale white hands
Striking me down

I’ll never forget you,
How your smile set me free
I’ll never forgive you
For the way you used me

Don’t want your excuses—

Your mother this,
Your father that,
I wish you’d just loved me
And left it at that.



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AvengedJasonFold said...
Oct. 5, 2010 at 7:27 pm

I liked the poem! Sorta... see this is the kind of thing  I always have to hear from ex-gfs "you used me! you hate me!" and it's all not true so reading anything of that nature tends to turn me off but I still think this was a solid work of art.

But I spent more time trying to figure out what the "authors comments" thing meant. I still dont get it lol

 
AvengedJasonFold replied...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 5:38 pm
actually the name comes from my fav band Avenged Sevenfold lol
 
apocalyptigirl replied...
Oct. 7, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Yes I know, I was just making a play on words. Lol, what kind of metal fan do you think I am??? ;) My screen name comes from Apocalyptica, teehee...
 
AvengedJasonFold replied...
Oct. 9, 2010 at 12:57 pm
oh yeah we've already been over this lol
 
elmosoreo said...
Oct. 5, 2010 at 8:57 am
I really enjoyed this :) I think the meaning was a little undertoned..but it fit it perfect :)
 
apocalyptigirl replied...
Oct. 5, 2010 at 1:06 pm
Um, by "undertoned" do you mean obvious or not obvious?
 
AgnotTheOdd said...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 11:11 pm
Definitely like the rhyme that doesn't interfere with the message.  The rhythm felt a little funky/unnatural in some places - but then again maybe thats just me.
 
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