Blue Eyes

September 12, 2010
By apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams


I want out
This is done
Can’t believe I thought
You were the one

You turned on me,
I’ll turn on you—
An eye for an eye,
Because yours were blue?

Sky-blue eyes
Meeting earth-brown
Pale white hands
Striking me down

I’ll never forget you,
How your smile set me free
I’ll never forgive you
For the way you used me

Don’t want your excuses—

Your mother this,
Your father that,
I wish you’d just loved me
And left it at that.


The author's comments:
Sadly, prejudices that should die with one generation get handed down to the next, like the genes for blue eyes or brown skin.

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This article has 26 comments.


on Dec. 5 2012 at 7:18 pm
AlexanderQ GOLD, Oak Creek, Colorado
12 articles 0 photos 37 comments
The poem flows really beautifully, but I didn't really understand the racism theme until after reading the author's note. However, looking back through the poem I can definitely pick out the parts where you mention it. I really liked it besides that though.

on Oct. 10 2010 at 3:39 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

But it is about love. And racism. I didn't want to come right out and be too obvious, or, god forbid, moralizing. I'd rather make the reader think than just tell them what to think, if you know what I mean. :P I do talk about skin color, but it's easy to miss if not read carefully.

Fayrouz SILVER said...
on Oct. 10 2010 at 2:27 pm
Fayrouz SILVER, Fargo, North Dakota
9 articles 12 photos 364 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

The racist theme isn't really that evident. I thought it was about love or something. Try to incorporate the racist theme in there more, which is going to be MIGHTY difficult. The poem's rhyming is good though and if you don't want to add more in about the racist theme, it's fine. It's just kind of a prickly thing and since you're not writing about skin tones, just eye color, it'll be tough.

Aginger GOLD said...
on Oct. 9 2010 at 8:16 pm
Aginger GOLD, Bingen, Washington
11 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Why are you so busy trying to fit in when you were born to stand out?"

That was very good. I like he meaning behind it; the color of the eyes and everything. Keep writing!

on Oct. 9 2010 at 12:57 pm
oh yeah we've already been over this lol

on Oct. 9 2010 at 9:56 am
wordjunkie BRONZE, Houston, Texas
1 article 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Those who say it can't be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.

hmm. i agree you should stress the racist theme a bit more, its not very obvious when i first read this i really liked it, but i thought it was about a boy who thinks hes better than a girl just because hes hotter. then he kinda just made excuses not to see her because he was embarassed. on second look i can see the racist thing but it takes a little explaining. over all a really good poem.

on Oct. 7 2010 at 6:48 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Yes I know, I was just making a play on words. Lol, what kind of metal fan do you think I am??? ;) My screen name comes from Apocalyptica, teehee...

on Oct. 7 2010 at 5:38 pm
actually the name comes from my fav band Avenged Sevenfold lol

on Oct. 6 2010 at 7:22 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Thanks a lot! :D

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:48 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

oh, that had really great emotion nd feeling... ur words were, again, spot on. awesomeness!! :]

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:46 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

lol you would, AvengedJasonFold. :)

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:42 pm
I always think it is xD

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:38 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

No, no, I know, I just thought it would be fun to write something mroe obviously about revenge...

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:36 pm
I mean it was just a suggestion you don't have to lol I thought that's just what you were getting at in this poem lol

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:36 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Heh, there really isn't any pattern...I didn't exactly plan anything in terms of rhyme. Did it turn out ABCB? cuz if it did that's complete coincidence. :P

on Oct. 6 2010 at 6:30 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Oh, maybe...the implication is that his parents made him break up with her. Well, whatever, I'll write a revengeful poem later..."I hate you! You evil ex-boyfriend! You are such a wuss! You couldn't take me! And now I'm going to egg your house!" lol :P

Birder SILVER said...
on Oct. 6 2010 at 4:49 pm
Birder SILVER, Waterboro, Maine
6 articles 22 photos 104 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, unless they do unto you first, then open a can of unto on to them."

"Obey the ninja."

"What's that? And why does it say snickle tickle?"

this is a really cool poem! Its depressing, sure, but nice vocabulary and is it an ABCB pattern? Well, its really good. Nice job, keep up the good work!

on Oct. 5 2010 at 8:17 pm
he's a wuss like that... wouldn't it make the poem more powerful and "revengeful" (don't know the right word for that lol) to include something that characterizes him that way?

on Oct. 5 2010 at 8:05 pm
apocalyptigirl BRONZE, Staunton, Virginia
4 articles 2 photos 285 comments

Favorite Quote:
"DON'T PANIC." ~from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

well of course not...he just gave in to his parents b/c he's a wuss like that...hmm. she seems more angry and sad than just sad and sad in here...like she wants revenge or is mad at herself as well or something...

on Oct. 5 2010 at 7:55 pm
well racist people aren't worth her time anyway lol


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