Stars

September 23, 2010
By Samantha.07 GOLD, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
Samantha.07 GOLD, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 20 comments

I am a victim.
I have overlooked the sea of clouds and
Rippling stars.
I have heard the thunder
Before the storm.
My insides were looking out
At thousands of
Falling birds.
But they were not birds.
They were blood from my brothers.
My insides took in a breath
When their guts spilled
To the floor.
I am a victim.
The stars were scattered,
Swallowed by my brothers’
Sigh.
In moments,
Their guilt murmured a silent
Apology.
A grave within a grave,
A fall within a fall.
Speech by speech,
Time by time,
A new colony restored the old.
But the air up here
Is still frozen.
The wind is not the same.
My sister’s tears
Are blanketed in waters,
But mine cannot be seen.
My head is the highest one now.
I am a victim.
And I am a victim
Who must follow under my
Father’s wing.
It is the circuit of stars
Inside me
Who continue to light me through the
Night.
And stars who help my sister
Up the fleet of stairs.
One day these shinning beams
Will truly become one.
Galaxies hand and hand,
All sharing the same song.
I will always be a victim
And so will the stars
And so will my sister
Forever, bless her heart.
One day my grandsons will rise
And stand as proud as the twins
But even I, the over-looker of light,
Will join the stars
In one restless night
In silence.
It is then I will
Stretch high to the heavens.
It is then the tallest will be taller.
It is then we will touch
The hearts of our lost stars
And set them free
So we, too, can soar.


The author's comments:
This poem was inspired by the footage of a program about 9/11. I can never truly understand what it is like losing someone on such a horrific day, but I felt an odd connection with the buildings. When you look at the skyline now, it's empty.
There are four allusions to this poem; see if you can figure them out. Hint-The narrator is the Empire State Building.

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This article has 10 comments.


jpetey said...
on Jan. 18 2011 at 7:12 pm
DUDE. You're really good at writing stuff. Wow, what a horrible sentence I just wrote, shows how great a writer I am haha!

on Jan. 15 2011 at 12:23 am
Samantha.07 GOLD, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 20 comments
Thanks! I'll give it another read-through.

AsIAm PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 12:11 am
AsIAm PLATINUM, Somewhere, North Carolina
48 articles 3 photos 608 comments

Favorite Quote:
"According to some, heroic deaths are admirable things. (Generally those who don't have to do it. Politicians and writers spring to mind.) I've never been convinced by this argument, mainly because, no matter how cool, stylish, composed, unflappable, manly, or defiant you are, at the end of the day you're also dead. Which is a little too permanent for my liking." — Jonathan Stroud (Ptolemy's Gate)

I like this - it's very powerful!  I especially like the bit between "Apology" and "My sister's tears".  I'm not a big poem person, but it did seem like the meter was a bit off. Just a thought. :)  Great job!

on Jan. 12 2011 at 8:40 am
AgnotTheOdd GOLD, Aptos, California
17 articles 0 photos 315 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

sure, You can read the waiting room part 1, or Home is where the heart is, or any of my nonfiction stuff.

Thanks


on Jan. 12 2011 at 6:50 am
Samantha.07 GOLD, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 20 comments
Hey, thanks. Is there anything you want me to read of yours?

on Jan. 11 2011 at 11:09 pm
AgnotTheOdd GOLD, Aptos, California
17 articles 0 photos 315 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The reason for your unreasonable treatment of my reason so enfeebles my reason that I have reason to complain of your reason" ~ Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Point of view was creative and effective.  The metaphor/symbolism/whathaveyou was strong as well.  Im not much of a poem guy so I can't really critique this too well, but I thought it was very well written.

on Sep. 30 2010 at 8:03 pm
Samantha.07 GOLD, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 20 comments
Four words: Thank you so much!! I really appreciate your comment and rating :) Let me know if there's anything else I can read of yours!

on Sep. 30 2010 at 6:41 pm
starxoxo23 PLATINUM, New Hampshire, New Hampshire
21 articles 0 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself."
- Alan Alda

Three words: i LOVE THIS!!! it's sooo powerful and beautiful, and yet, there's an air of sorrow and hopelessness even during the description of ascending into the stars - a metaphor that's usually associated with hope. You've combined a wide range of emotions into something that's both gorgeous and touching. AMAZING!!! Keep up the good work =)

on Sep. 29 2010 at 8:21 pm
Samantha.07 GOLD, Doylestown, Pennsylvania
15 articles 0 photos 20 comments
Thanks for reading and commenting (again!)

hopem2 said...
on Sep. 29 2010 at 3:51 pm

This is amazing!! You can really feel the connection to the people that were there. I love the point of view so much.

Truly awesome!!





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