September 23, 2010
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I am a victim.
I have overlooked the sea of clouds and
Rippling stars.
I have heard the thunder
Before the storm.
My insides were looking out
At thousands of
Falling birds.
But they were not birds.
They were blood from my brothers.
My insides took in a breath
When their guts spilled
To the floor.
I am a victim.
The stars were scattered,
Swallowed by my brothers’
In moments,
Their guilt murmured a silent
A grave within a grave,
A fall within a fall.
Speech by speech,
Time by time,
A new colony restored the old.
But the air up here
Is still frozen.
The wind is not the same.
My sister’s tears
Are blanketed in waters,
But mine cannot be seen.
My head is the highest one now.
I am a victim.
And I am a victim
Who must follow under my
Father’s wing.
It is the circuit of stars
Inside me
Who continue to light me through the
And stars who help my sister
Up the fleet of stairs.
One day these shinning beams
Will truly become one.
Galaxies hand and hand,
All sharing the same song.
I will always be a victim
And so will the stars
And so will my sister
Forever, bless her heart.
One day my grandsons will rise
And stand as proud as the twins
But even I, the over-looker of light,
Will join the stars
In one restless night
In silence.
It is then I will
Stretch high to the heavens.
It is then the tallest will be taller.
It is then we will touch
The hearts of our lost stars
And set them free
So we, too, can soar.

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This article has 10 comments. Post your own now!

jpetey said...
Jan. 18, 2011 at 7:12 pm
DUDE. You're really good at writing stuff. Wow, what a horrible sentence I just wrote, shows how great a writer I am haha!
AsIAm This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 12:11 am
I like this - it's very powerful!  I especially like the bit between "Apology" and "My sister's tears".  I'm not a big poem person, but it did seem like the meter was a bit off. Just a thought. :)  Great job!
Samantha.07 replied...
Jan. 15, 2011 at 12:23 am
Thanks! I'll give it another read-through.
AgnotTheOdd said...
Jan. 11, 2011 at 11:09 pm
Point of view was creative and effective.  The metaphor/symbolism/whathaveyou was strong as well.  Im not much of a poem guy so I can't really critique this too well, but I thought it was very well written.
Samantha.07 replied...
Jan. 12, 2011 at 6:50 am
Hey, thanks. Is there anything you want me to read of yours?
AgnotTheOdd replied...
Jan. 12, 2011 at 8:40 am

sure, You can read the waiting room part 1, or Home is where the heart is, or any of my nonfiction stuff.


starxoxo23 said...
Sept. 30, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Three words: i LOVE THIS!!! it's sooo powerful and beautiful, and yet, there's an air of sorrow and hopelessness even during the description of ascending into the stars - a metaphor that's usually associated with hope. You've combined a wide range of emotions into something that's both gorgeous and touching. AMAZING!!! Keep up the good work =)
Samantha.07 replied...
Sept. 30, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Four words: Thank you so much!! I really appreciate your comment and rating :) Let me know if there's anything else I can read of yours!
hopem2 said...
Sept. 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm

This is amazing!! You can really feel the connection to the people that were there. I love the point of view so much.

Truly awesome!!

Samantha.07 replied...
Sept. 29, 2010 at 8:21 pm
Thanks for reading and commenting (again!)
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