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Dad to Dzadzi
I just want to scream
So God will let you hear me.
Yell as loud as I can
That way you will understand
That I’m not as strong as you think I am.
I’m human like everyone else,
I can’t do this myself,
I still need your help.
You always knew
The right thing to do,
And Dad, I’m starting to lose sight.
I’m becoming nothing but a child,
Not knowing what’s wrong or right.
You always were there to hold my hand,
When I couldn’t walk, you helped me stand
Tall against the world, told me it was you and me
We’re powerful enough to take on everybody.
Well now I’m a man, a father, a husband.
And Dad, it’s not easy like you made it seem.
I still wakeup in the middle of the night
Praying to God that my family will be alright.
Your calls telling me what I should do
Always helped me to get through
The rough hard times I had to endure
Why can’t there still be more
Days with you here with us?
I miss and need your love.
When everything else in my life had faded away
You were always there to say
“Hold on Teddy, I know you’ll be okay.”
Well Dad, I’m not sure I can hold on much longer,
I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get stronger
To push through your loss,
To take on the responsibility of being the boss
Of all the stuff you left behind for me to do,
I want to handle it and be brave for you,
But I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with it all yet.
To put on a smooth calm face to cover up the one that’s drenched and wet
From all the tears I’ve shed, but it’s time for me to look ahead.
To rid myself of vulnerability and so I need you to give me stability
To stay cool and carry on with everything I need to do.
When you find me sitting in a quiet corner, trying to figure out my next move,
I want you to give me a sign, and help me know what it is I should do.
Because in this world, I now feel lost and insecure
I no longer have you, my father, my savior.
And truth be told, I’m scared to go on alone.
Who will be there to catch me when I fall?
When I act as though I know it all?
Where will you be when the world has stripped me of all my dignity?
I can’t carry on knowing your gone.
You still need to be here with me,
To guide me, instruct me, hold me, and love me.
But I know sooner or later, everyone must go.
And although I will want you back
I know God has you with Mom at last.
And you’re up there with her watching over all of us,
Asking God to allow you to send down your love
In ways that will help us get through
And we’ll smile, knowing the help came from you.
I will pray to you ever y single night
Might even still ask for a word of advice
On how to manage my choices, my family, and my life.
Ask how to be better for my children, and my wife.
I know you’ll always be here for me Dad
When the world has gone down an ugly path,
You’ll help me choose the right way to go,
Help me be the man you love and know.
So I won’t be bitter, I’ll still raise my head up high,
And every chance I get, I’ll look up to the sky
Thank God he has blessed me with the father I had
Because I am so lucky to have called you my Dad.