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The Visit

The Luna moth visits, clings to my window.
The essence of its green span of wings,
Its large orange eyes.
A sign from above. That the shouting voices will stop. Tears will dry. Sleep will come.
And so the shouting stopped, crying ceased.
And sleep came. Ever so softly. Like wings in the night.





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This article has 14 comments. Post your own now!

Ally1832 said...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Awesome imagery. Very powerful with your words. Nicely written. Good job.
 
JustCommenting said...
Dec. 15, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I like how you made it descriptive, at the same time vague so you have to think so it can mean different things to different people.
 
...Katelynn... said...
Oct. 12, 2010 at 5:39 pm

My goodness! It's good to see an underrated poet get the publicity she deserves. :)

Your writing is beautiful, darling. Simply beautiful. Your vivid contrasts and word choices give the reader an instant message of what you're trying to communicate, as well as a detailed image. Brilliant.

 
Hummingbird This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Oct. 16, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Katelynn, Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment on my work! You really don't know how much your kind words and helpful comments mean to me!!! Thank you so very much and good luck with your writing career! I will always be on the lookout for your work!
 
davidm. said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 12:48 pm
this is really good you were write it reminds me a little of mine but it use metaphors I would have never thought of keep writing
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 9, 2010 at 9:12 pm
I love this. its so short but its also like "hello!! I'm awesome!! love me!" i love you captain.
 
JeanTscplYa said...
Sept. 28, 2010 at 12:29 pm
Mallory, I'm so impressed.  I surely admire anyone who has the ability to write poetry.  And so beautifully!Proud of you in Topeka
 
Bear said...
Sept. 22, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I enjoyed the poem The Visit by Hummingbird.
 
Susie Q said...
Sept. 22, 2010 at 11:51 am
Mallory:  Thanks for sharing your insight in such a poetic way.  Your words invoke comfort and peace.
 
Marlana said...
Sept. 21, 2010 at 9:05 pm
Mallory, nice work!  Evokes a vivid mental image and emotional response.  Thanks for sharing!
 
SarahTheScrivener said...
Sept. 21, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Oh Mallory, your poem is beautiful! The ending was shudderingly perfect and inspiring. "Ever so softly. Like wings in the night." I wish I could write like you! I'm looking forward to seeing you at the writers' group next week.
 
Hummingbird This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 21, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Sarah- You are so sweet. Thanks for your feedback. Thanks for your time- I really appreciate you giving me feedback. See you next week!
 
thebushhippie said...
Sept. 20, 2010 at 4:19 pm
I really liked this poem. It was so simple, but really powerful.
 
Hummingbird This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 21, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Thanks for commenting on my work! I am very new to teenink so I am excited that my work is on the website. I'm not quite sure how the voting thing works, but do you think you could. I would be really interested in checking out some of your work too. Thanks for your feedback. :)
 
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