The Visit | Teen Ink

The Visit

September 6, 2010
By Hummingbird GOLD, Berryton, Kansas
Hummingbird GOLD, Berryton, Kansas
16 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller


The Luna moth visits, clings to my window.
The essence of its green span of wings,
Its large orange eyes.
A sign from above. That the shouting voices will stop. Tears will dry. Sleep will come.
And so the shouting stopped, crying ceased.
And sleep came. Ever so softly. Like wings in the night.


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This article has 14 comments.


on Oct. 28 2011 at 6:57 pm
Ally1832 SILVER, Bark River, Michigan
5 articles 1 photo 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Wipe away the tears and walk away

Awesome imagery. Very powerful with your words. Nicely written. Good job.

on Dec. 15 2010 at 3:41 pm
I like how you made it descriptive, at the same time vague so you have to think so it can mean different things to different people.

on Oct. 16 2010 at 2:22 pm
Hummingbird GOLD, Berryton, Kansas
16 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller

Katelynn, Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment on my work! You really don't know how much your kind words and helpful comments mean to me!!! Thank you so very much and good luck with your writing career! I will always be on the lookout for your work!

on Oct. 12 2010 at 5:39 pm
...Katelynn... PLATINUM, Sandy, Oregon
22 articles 1 photo 16 comments

Favorite Quote:
"True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends."

"Writing isn't that hard, you just sit at a typewriter and bleed." -Ernest Hemmingway

My goodness! It's good to see an underrated poet get the publicity she deserves. :)

Your writing is beautiful, darling. Simply beautiful. Your vivid contrasts and word choices give the reader an instant message of what you're trying to communicate, as well as a detailed image. Brilliant.


davidm. GOLD said...
on Oct. 11 2010 at 12:48 pm
davidm. GOLD, McGraws, West Virginia
12 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
karma what you do happens to you

this is really good you were write it reminds me a little of mine but it use metaphors I would have never thought of keep writing

on Oct. 9 2010 at 9:12 pm
Boosflash DIAMOND, Jacksonville, Florida
55 articles 0 photos 2066 comments

Favorite Quote:
Get, Got, Gotten.

I love this. its so short but its also like "hello!! I'm awesome!! love me!" i love you captain.

JeanTscplYa said...
on Sep. 28 2010 at 12:29 pm
Mallory, I'm so impressed.  I surely admire anyone who has the ability to write poetry.  And so beautifully!Proud of you in Topeka

Bear said...
on Sep. 22 2010 at 12:55 pm
I enjoyed the poem The Visit by Hummingbird.

Susie Q said...
on Sep. 22 2010 at 11:51 am
Mallory:  Thanks for sharing your insight in such a poetic way.  Your words invoke comfort and peace.

Marlana said...
on Sep. 21 2010 at 9:05 pm
Mallory, nice work!  Evokes a vivid mental image and emotional response.  Thanks for sharing!

on Sep. 21 2010 at 5:23 pm
Hummingbird GOLD, Berryton, Kansas
16 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller

Sarah- You are so sweet. Thanks for your feedback. Thanks for your time- I really appreciate you giving me feedback. See you next week!

on Sep. 21 2010 at 4:43 pm
Oh Mallory, your poem is beautiful! The ending was shudderingly perfect and inspiring. "Ever so softly. Like wings in the night." I wish I could write like you! I'm looking forward to seeing you at the writers' group next week.

on Sep. 21 2010 at 3:35 pm
Hummingbird GOLD, Berryton, Kansas
16 articles 0 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller

Thanks for commenting on my work! I am very new to teenink so I am excited that my work is on the website. I'm not quite sure how the voting thing works, but do you think you could. I would be really interested in checking out some of your work too. Thanks for your feedback. :)

on Sep. 20 2010 at 4:19 pm
thebushhippie PLATINUM, Sandown, New Hampshire
24 articles 0 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
Leave behind your own footprints! :0)

I really liked this poem. It was so simple, but really powerful.