House of Bottles

August 20, 2010
By maggiebar1 GOLD, Valparaiso, Indiana
maggiebar1 GOLD, Valparaiso, Indiana
12 articles 1 photo 49 comments

Your house of bottles is tumbling down.
But not all at once.
I tried to hold back my laughter, but I can’t help it.
I don’t want to say I told you so but,
I told you so.

I know you’re still inside that house you built.
I suppose I should shout,
Get out!
That’d be the right thing to do,
right?

Instead I pull up a lawn chair,
watch and wait as the show curtains fall down.

The not-so-sturdy walls’ paint chips.
If only you had listened to me,
you would have known.

Now the glistening shingles roll off the roof,
shattering into a million pieces.
They sort of remind me of my heart,
once broken by something that was yours,
but so out of control.

So fragile is your house now.
The slightest breeze could knock it down.
I smile as I think about blowing a kiss.

I do.
It is glorious.
The sound of smashing bottles,
glistening glass and
millions upon millions of shards,
everywhere,
taking up the sky
and I stand.
Breathe in the scent of a change.

And there you are.
Standing in the middle of the destruction.
Rock bottom, I think they call it.
This life you had made for yourself
crashed to the ground.
You open your eyes.
I see you are not regular self yet.

I walk over to you,
take your hand.
You stoop down,
try to pick up some of the shards.
You squeeze them together in your hand,
as if clumping them together will rebuild your house.

Then you lay them on the ground,
and they stand in a pile,
like an anthill.

I kick them over with my foot.
You look at me, hurt almost.
I know you don’t need them.

I pull you over to the lawn chair.
You sit willingly,
and I hand you a water bottle.

You drink it all in one big gush,
and I know you are gathering some strength.

Then you stand up, and say
“I’m ready.”

Then I know you have that old spark in your eye.
This is the old you.
The one that I had known for a long time.
This is not the drinking you.


The author's comments:
I wrote this because I know some people who had to hit rock bottom before they could see they need a life change. The good thing in my ending, though, is that family and friends were there to catch him when everything finally "fell".

Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 5 comments.


on Sep. 23 2011 at 7:33 pm
edgarallenpoetry SILVER, Valparaiso, Indiana
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't understand my silence, you'll never understand my words."

I absolutley love this poem. Its my favorite of yours. It's so true, but I like the somewhat twisted approach you put on it.

on Oct. 11 2010 at 4:01 pm
maggiebar1 GOLD, Valparaiso, Indiana
12 articles 1 photo 49 comments
yes i reread over that and saw it wasnt quite right... i cant change it tho! i wish there was  a way to do that that would be cool

on Oct. 10 2010 at 2:30 pm
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt

hmm I don't really have any general critisism, but in the second stanza where you say "that'd be the right thing to do, right?" I would change the first right to "moral" or "good" just because the flow is sort of interrupted there. That's a tiny thing, but still I hope it helps!

on Oct. 9 2010 at 11:25 am
maggiebar1 GOLD, Valparaiso, Indiana
12 articles 1 photo 49 comments
thanks! i love all the good reviews, but im wondering if you have anything that you would change in any of my work! id appreciate it!

on Oct. 8 2010 at 3:22 pm
awesomeaugust GOLD, Boston, Massachusetts
10 articles 0 photos 176 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground"
~Theordore Roosevelt

That's really powerful. I think how you don't come right out and say what the poems about, but the topic is obvious and the theme is moving. Keep writing!




Swoon Reads

Aspiring Writer? Take Our Online Course!