My eyes,
dripping with salty tears.
My mouth,
saying words that keep running in circles.
My heart,
bursting with a desire to say something.
Anything.
I need to do something before this opportunity slips through my fingers...again.
Before he walks away and doesnt look back.
I tell him thats she's not good enough for him,
and other mindless thoughts that keep my mind away from those three little words that could change my life.
Those words that ive never said to anyone, but have wanted for so long to have someone to say to me.
So I rattle in circles,
and hes becoming more beautiful,
and more illusive,
like at any moment he will become a puff of smoke,
or I will wake up from the dream that ive had a thousand times before.
And as I drift I realize ive already said the words.
Theyve tumbled out of my mouth like they were nothing.
His eyes start to tear as mine have.
He wants to say something and I know whatever he says will make me regret those three little words.
He leans in to my ear,
loud enough for only me and the ghosts that listen in to hear.
I cant love you he says.
I cant be with you he says as he chokes on the words.
The distance that ive known for the last year has become so existent that I feel like im screaming at him from a thousand miles away.
I turn around,
with his hand still gently around my arm,
and before i leave I say,
Those three little words one last time,and for the last time.