okay..?

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I'm okay...
no matter how many times I say it
I can't make it true
I'm not okay
and its my fault
I could have saved myself
from all this
I knew it was coming
but like a car crash
I couldn't stop it
I can't let you go
I don't want to
I loved you
and without you
I'm empty
I know I shouldn't blame you
but I can't help it
I'm so angry
and so sad
and I'm not okay
I'm really not
and everyone keeps asking
and I say I'm okay
but its not true
I thought even by now
I'd be okay
but I'm not
I'm not okay
people say it will get better
and maybe it will
someday...
or I'll live with it
I think
It just sucks
It all does
I'm so sorry
but I'm not okay
nothing you say will make it change





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