break my heart

August 16, 2010
and i wonder if you ever think of me... because you're always on my brain
and i wonder if you remember me.. or sometimes hear my name
and i wonder how you left me here, how you stopped loving me so fast
and i wonder how you lied to me and promised we would last
and i wonder after all this time how i can still put you first
and i wonder what you think of me and what you thought i was worth.
and i really want to know why i dream of you every single night
and i really want to know how you can possibly think you're right
and then i stop and wonder how you even got a girl like me
and i ask myself over and over what there was to see
in a guy like you, with so little to lose, and no motivation in this life
and i wonder how once upon a time i thought i could be your wife
i'll stop and think to myself if you know how much i love you
i'll stop and ask myself if anything you said to me was true
because never once, in our year and some months, did i ever lie
never once in our year and some months did i think our love could die
and how shocked i was when you left, caught me by such surprise
and i really want to know how i still love you to this day
after all the trust you lost and the love you threw away
and i really wonder if you ever sit there and think of me
because i really want to know why you honestly had to leave
i really want to forget every kiss and every hug
i really want to pretend this isn't because of the drugs
i really want to kiss you one last time...
because in 2 weeks i leave, and you're still not mine.
but why should i even want you to be? you treated me so bad.
no one in this earth has made me so happy and so mad
and it seems no matter how much you hurt me, there's not a thing i wouldn't do.
i guess no matter how hard i try the bottom line is i'll always love you.

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