I’m sorry for the secrets
That I hid away for so long
When I left you out of my life
And you were stuck on the outside of my mind
Wondering what had changed inside of me

I’m sorry for the pain
That I feel,
And can’t make any sense of
For allowing it to go on this long
And not letting it be fixed

I’m sorry for the cuts
For the blood that flowed gracefully down my legs
Hid easily beneath my t-shirt
The razor that I turned to instead of the help that was reaching out to me
The paperclips I used as an escape when you hid everything else from me

I’m sorry for the yelling
Because I didn’t know how else to tell you I was hurting
To let you see the brokenness inside of me

I’m sorry for not being strong
For allowing myself to be weak enough to crumble
And not having a reason to do so
For breaking into a million pieces and never bothering
To pick up the shattered remains
When I know you would have helped

I’m sorry for the smile
That I hide behind to make people believe
That I’m ok
To keep people from wondering about the scars
To keep you from seeing me for what I am
Because I don’t know what that is
Anymore