i moved around a lot.
like a military kid but not as legit.
and people said home, but it sounded like casa or mansion or something foreign.
then i hopped in your '89 chevy caprice,
and you drove me to some place in the middle of nowhere and everywhere.

why did you feel like home?
like a mixture of garage sale lemonade and corner store dreams.
your arms felt like grandma's quilt that kept us warm in chicago winter,
your eyes looked like new york city lights.
your voice was like oklahoma wind, something light
& kisses sweet like Sea's candy San Francisco.

why did the thought of leaving you feel like running away from home?
from safety. like dad's shot gun under the bed.
from comfort. like the end of the first day of school.
from beauty. like the the lake's fourth of july fireworks.
from freedom. like that first taste of beer at the homecoming after party in our freshman year.



but i did run away.
from the ONLY place that i ever called home.
from YOU.
after all the intruders in our beautiful abode.
after all the masked women who stole our furniture with the bargain cigarettes and fake designer bags.
she burned my home like arson and didn't even care.


i am stuck in a foreign city.
a boy who doesn't like my cherry chap stick or old black and white movies.
he doesnt dance around to my music.
he hates thrift stores, and he likes golf. xD
he makes me wear makeup all day, and my hair is always perfect.
he like when i dress in pink.
he just doesn't love like you baby.
and he has cheap furniture and ugly wall paintings
and he is not a home like you. just a house baby.
& in this house....


love don't live here no more.

is that why i feel so home sick?


& guess what?