my heart is heavey with pain and my eyes swell up with tears remembering his name. floating back down to earth. i begin to cry, scream, and shout. i begin to throw and break things. all this pain and all this anger bottled up inside my heart. i sink hopelessly and sadly into my bed. i try and rest my head but memories of you and me return. each one leaves a perfect clear open cut in my heart. some hurt me so much that all i can do is hold my breath trying not to scream from all the pain. others dont hurt me as much but either way they sill hurt. they still scar and leave a mark. there is a image of you burned into my head. painfully i try to forget your face. your name. your smile. your voice. your kiss. your hug. your laughs. your jokes. and us....together...happily. i see all of these memories and wonder are they all a dream? is a single one real? if they are dreams i wish i never woke up from them. then maybe i'd have my happy ending. my dreams at night are nightmares, touture, and pure pain as my mind tries to come up with some happy ending. why? why cant i just stay in my escape, my dream world?