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Obliterate
August 17, 2010
I grab the pink eraser,
Start with my toes,
Go up to my ankles,
Continue to my legs,
Ascend to my torso,
It’s all gone,
Don’t worry, it’s all gone,
I move along to my left arm,
I’m right-handed,
Resume to my chest,
And my lifeless face,
Now I erase it all,
“For big mistakes,”
My eraser says.
© Becky G., Westerville, OH
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 18 comments.
meganwagner21 PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 4:57 pm
wow. this Ah-mazing. relly emotional under the eraser irony at the end. great job!
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 11:41 am
simplicity is key, i suppose, thank you :)
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 11:40 am
=D thank you
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 11:39 am
thanks, i appreciate it :D
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 11:39 am
that's great, i'm really glad you liked this :D thank you
Travelbaby12 said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 8:22 pm
This really is great. My friend pointed this site and especially this out to me. I loved it immediately. The others are right in saying that the wording is wonderfully put.
Hummingbird GOLD said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 6:53 pm
Thank you so much, Anndie! I'm really glad I've connected with someone so soon. I can't wait to read more of your writing. I will keep you posted. Ttyl!
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 6:20 pm
for sure :D and just tell me when you have something up i'd love to read it :D
Hummingbird GOLD said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 5:41 pm
Thanks for letting me know, Anndie. Let me know when you publish anything else. Maybe if I ever get anything published you could read it. Thanks!
Lilacs_Smell_Wonnerful PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 8 2010 at 5:13 pm
Really good! I think that the language and wording are perfect. I love the last two lines, they give the poem a whole deeper meaning.
-Lilac
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 8:49 pm
sometimes it takes a week other times it takes three weeks it really does depend
Hummingbird GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 7:36 pm
I just joined teen ink, so I am just looking around, being inspired by other writers. You really have a gift. I am still waiting to see if teen ink will take any of my poems. Do you know how long it normally takes for them to contact you?
Paty_Padilla BRONZE said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 6:41 pm
thank you, i'm happy you think its a work of art
Hummingbird GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 6:16 pm
And everytime I read it, it gives me something more. Something new. Thank you.
Hummingbird GOLD said...
on Sep. 7 2010 at 6:14 pm
Wow- what clever writing. You really touched me with this. This really is a work of art. I like!
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