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Not All Bad

A secret love,
But not a love,
A crush,
Yes, this instead.
Not even a crush,
For it can't be;
It's all inside my head.
I cannot know, no,
I cannot show;
I scarcely know the boy,
But I do after all,
And the more I do,
The more it begins to show.

I expend myself extensively
Attempting to part realization from me,
But every time he walks into my sight,
A smile creeps onto my face,
And impossible it is to dispose of it,
But why would I want to, anyway?
He is my friend, only my friend,
But oh! when he smiles
And holds open the door
Or thanks me for moving out of his way,
What he didn't have to do...
But wouldn't any of the others do so as well?
Perhaps,
But just his manner,
His smile,
Amaze me;
Oh, they make me wild!
So polite he is,
And happy and kind,
And never to brag and no one to tell,
But we are quite similar,
So it seems;
That is likely why I am so
Attracted to the boy!

Oh, I want to get to know him as a friend,
For that alone is acceptable right now,
And must be all I am able to do,
But each time I speak to him,
My chest tightens up,
And I cannot breathe,
And why can I never voice what I think?
But hardly does thought even emerge,
For whatever I want to say,
Whether it was planned or not,
Never seems to travel out of my mouth;
What a fool I seem to act!
Evidently, though, he doesn't think so,
For always he does smile and say something kind
Or sweet or funny or...oh!
Another thing! My laugh! I sound
Like a donkey when I laugh
Or a hyenna, but perhaps, that will disappear
As I get to know him better--
How I truly hope I do.
Do you think he likes me, too?

Oh, Paper, I lament,
But I know I am not sad.
Such a beautiful, happy wonder is it
(He may even be artsy, too; woo-hoo!)
That thought I am too young to act, I don't care;
I feel assured that this crush is not all bad.




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