before you can leave

August 6, 2010
My hair blows in the wind
Whips my face
And I let it cover my eyes
And allow myself to be blinded to this real world

The sun shines down on my face
And I lift my chin
Letting it warm my face and give me the reassurance
That there is something I can believe in

My tears burn
And I feel weak that I gave in
That I became small enough to cry these stupid drops

I feel your arms wrap around me
Expect the touch when your hands glide across my side
Predict the whisper in my ear
When your soothing voice pops into my mind

But we both know it’s over
And I hate you

I hate you for ruining my life and not owning up to it
For turning away when I need you the most
For whispering that everything is going to be ok even though you’re leaving
Telling me that you will be here forever
And then stealing my trust
Taking it with you

This summer day
Will forever stay
As a memory of pain
And regret

So I let the wind whip my face and blind my eyes
And imagine that I can fly away with it
Away from you
Before you can leave me first

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