strange feeling

August 8, 2010
i was sitting alone, just watching him with her and how he was holding her...my heart felt like it stopped beating...i couldnt breathe...and i felt so sick to my stomach...i was heart broken...how could he have moved from me to her in just two weeks...i have never shed a tear in my life...then out of no where my vision gets blurry and water like liquid falls from my eyes...i realize im crying...i wonder how could one guy make me cry so much....then i realize its because i love him.
at that moment i realized the feeling love wasnt sonmething that i ever wanted to feel again...i couldnt take the pain that came with it...i focused my attention to the girl...my best friend seemed happy with my ex boyfriend...but would she be happy losing me as a friend? that was the question i asked myself.
i isolated myself for a week...then out of no where he messeges me saying how sorry he was for hurting me...i didnt know as to if i should believe him and take him back...as to being in high school there is other guys...but i love him and i took him back...its been eight months and im just starting to trust him again...as for the girl well we were like sisters...now we are just friends well best friends...and i barely trust her again.
once someone hurts you, it takes a while to trust them again.all i know is if it happens again im gone...being in love sucks, but it has alot of moments that its a good thing because you feel like you belong and that someone wants you. thats what it was like for me.





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