Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

My World

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
In My World,
the grass is greener,
on my side.
There are,
enough worms,
for every bird.
In My World,
Everyone's,
a friend,
Nobody's
in need.
The mice
will play,
Whether the cat,
is here or not.
In My World.
Good things,
don't come to an end.
War,
is peaceful.
Rome,
wasn't built in a day
and neither,
was My World.




Join the Discussion


This article has 9 comments. Post your own!

xkissofcrimsono This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 10:56 pm:
I liked how almost blunt this seemed while incorporating those different sayings. It took a lot of cliches and put a twist on them. My only critique is be careful with punctuation, there seem to be a few extra commas that created an awkward pause when I was reading
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 7:42 pm:
What a wonderful world! (No allusion to Louis Armstrong initially intended). It is a very cleverly written blend of popular sayings and your own person. Great job!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Poemfriend said...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 8:45 am:
wow! that is really really good. what gave you the idea to right it
 
The_Squirrel replied...
Sept. 4, 2010 at 3:49 pm :
I was actually listening to the Louis Armstrong song at the time. I opersonally, can't stand the song because it reminded me of  my grandfather. Then I realized that my world would have him, and this came.
 
Poemfriend replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 8:13 am :
Im sorry about your grandfather. i wont sing any more because i used to sing with him. but  he inspired me to start writing and all my poems are dedicated to him
 
The_Squirrel replied...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 11:03 pm :
Louis is really amazing. I dont really mind about my grandfather anymore though, he died like 8 years ago.
 
BeautifulRoses replied...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 10:15 am :
oh. my grandfather died about 3 years ago. it was 7 days b4 my b-day and then the memorial service was 3 days later
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
introducing.me_899This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 9:18 pm:

yayy!! *claps :DDDD

that was awesomely amazingly brillliant!!! i loooved it!!!!!

 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Zazawish777 said...
Sept. 1, 2010 at 6:35 pm:
this is amazing. i love it. 5 out of 5 stars! please rate and comment on mine thanks!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback