Without You

August 4, 2010
By Anonymous

My mind intrigues me. I can’t believe me. Things when I want something else.

Take me back to the time when I was born. Re-live my life so I don’t hurt you again like I have. Not able to check feelings with you.

Sometimes your words deceive me. You don’t believe me like you did before this mess. But I still believe you. Just need to tell you how I feel. But you can’t even hear me.

Why did I do that to you at all? I want to be with you. We laughed; I felt so shy. You mean so much to me. Tell me everything will be all right. I fixed my life to adapt to you, all the while with you.

But when I’m with you my heart breaks; it shatters. Tears fall down my cheeks. I don’t feel that it’s right. I take all the pain and all the shame. There’s so much self-blame for losing you to the dark side. Or is it the light side?

This photograph brings me to my knees. It’s so sweet, so bittersweet. A reminder of the good days, those days are long behind us. All because you’re gone, it’s been too long without you.

The author's comments:
I found a blurb in my journal titled "With You". I took the parts I liked out and added more. It was originally a love poem to a guy, but now it's more like, "my deceased granfathers, I'm sorry I was so insolent and ignorant to you when you were alive. I miss you terribly, and the photo I have of me as a baby looking up at Papa is really special to me."

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