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Just because I act care-free and happy
Doesn't mean I am.
If you saw what was really behind
These aqua eyes, you'd surely run away.
I may seem like nothings wrong but,
Really, I cry myself to sleep every
Night while I'm reminded of
These eyes have seen things,
That, most therapists would never
I was maybe eight, when my
Mother left my father.
But you wouldn't have seen tears in
My eyes I was to busy protecting
My younger brothers.
Making sure they never paid attention
To my mothers and fathers yells and pleas.
Then we left to that wretched place.
My moms family and us were all she had left.
Mom got work while we stayed with my grandpa.
I was maybe eleven when my grandpa first
Paying closer attention to me,
Far to close than a grandpa should be.
I remember that day well...
My brothers were outside somewhere,
Mother at work.
He started talking to me about...
I remember him trying to kiss me,
But I was faster I ran down the hall
But even though he was old he was
Strong and fast. He pushed me on the floor
And tried to kiss me again, but...
I kicked him, below the belt, and ran outside
Until my mother returned that night.
The next day he tried again,
But I swore to him if he ever tried again,
I would make sure all his children would know
Who he was, he kept his distance, after that.
And I never told a single soul till about a year
Later. The counselor told me I was very lucky.
I guess, I was but even though nothing happened
Exactly, I'm still left with the memories of it...
So where there once was a real innocent care-free girl,
Now there's a girl who pays attention to everything around her, always watching and worrying.