Growing up i never knew
how life could be so hard to get through.
Years go by and i start to see
the things that were so hard for me.
The feelings i felt and the walls that were built
the lies that were told that turned into guilt.
Forgiveness for me is one thing that wasnt met
because of the memories i could not forget.
Outside of me I faked a smile and put on a show
but deep down inside me i couldnt let go.
The anger built up and the sadness showed through
when i was so scared and didnt know what to do.
No matter how much i tried or how much i talked
it wouldnt go away like i was being stalked.
The unknown future would eat me up
until the point that i would erupt.
The confusion i have up to this day
will haunt me forever to my own dismay.
A disease that i have that wont go away
a battle within myself each and every day.
The playbacks that run over and over in my head
makes me feel like im hanging on by only a thread.
People say that time heals all
But i stall from a far to high brick wall
So hard to knock down.
So hard to be around.
Dont know what to do
because each day is a review.
Hopefully if i be patient and wait enough
The day will come where it wont be so tough.
But until then I'll go to bed, pray real hard, and say AMEN.