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Footprints

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Wet, cool sand smoothly oozes between my toes as I slowly walk,
The sun is warm, beating down on my tan skin,
There is a gentle breeze softly pushing my long blonde hair aside,
I peer over to face the vast blue ocean,
I gaze into the open sea with fascination, yet with sorrow,
It sparkled as a fresh blanket of snow would,
I love the sound of the small waves rolling and crashing down upon the shore,
The beach is empty; abandoned, as is my heart,
I glance over my shoulder,
My footprints would appear, then were promptly engulfed by the water, tumbling upon the sand,
I saw only one pair of footprints instead of two,
It was difficult to grasp in my mind,
He was gone,
We used to walk on this beach peacefully; side by side with hands tenderly clasped together,
Now I walk alone,
My heart is heavy, filled with anguish and despair,
Teary-eyed I watch as my footprints appear, then vanish,
They were gone, as was he.




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This article has 6 comments. Post your own!

UnknownPoet13 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 4:34 pm:
I love your used the descriptive words!! :) I thought it was about how the beach and ocean were beautiful sights till I got to the end! <3 I loved it!
 
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NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 19, 2011 at 4:32 pm:
This is full of sorrow and deep emotion! I love your descriptions and the way you portrayed the sadness of the speaker. The only criticism I have is that you should either punctuate sentences within the poem with periods or just not use any punctuation unless it's needed, such as to set off an apositive from the rest of the sentence/line. In other words, you don't need the commas on the ends of most of those lines. No biggie, though, just remember that for the future. Oh, and by the way, tennis ... (more »)
 
writingchickThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 10:56 pm :

Not good with all the punctuation stuff. That's why I need editors! Haha. And thank you for the advice and good comment (:

And yes, tennis is fantastic!

 
windsoftime replied...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 4:33 pm :
I really like this piece of writing! It starts out as if it was meant to be really happy and then it turns out to be quite sad at the end. I really like the way you refer to some of your feelings. You don't make it obvious either. Please can you look at another one of mine? I think it is called, "Don't Ask me ever again" thanks :)
 
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lovetoread said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 8:43 pm:
I felt like I was right there with you on this walk.  Great descriptions!!
 
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Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 7:15 pm:
I love this poem! Reading the beginning, I imagined this was a simple (yet wonderful) description of the beach. I shortly learned that it was a creative metaphor for a sad loss. I can sense the passion and imspiration with which it was written. Well done.
 
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