Eyes squint
then
open under
a fluorescent
hospital light.
Why do
WE
cry, scream, with our
first waking breath.

First grade
seems
like innocence
is walking on
thin, brittle, ice.

And then :

Second
Third
Fourth
And

Fifth
Sixth
Seventh
Eighth
And

Ninth
Growing
Tenth
Is
Eleventh
not what I
Twelfth
thought
Hooray for the graduates!
it would be.


What happened to?
Time?
And?
Who am I?
The cliché question.
But I still want
To know MYself.

Shouldn’t I know by now?


But I want to know you.
You there with your
Blue eyes
And cute smile
Do you know ME?
I need someone to tell me why. . .
To love ME
To love Me
To love me
That’s it. Right?
You’re here to love me?

But something.
Is still inside
And I can’t rip it out
And it’s infecting ME.
Dammit, STOP!
But. . .
don’t leave me.

Perhaps if I dye my hair. . .yeah, that’s who I am.
I’m the ONE always wearing skinny jeans.
The ONE who plays football.
Yeah! I listen to Kanye! I play soccer! I love reading!
Yeah, that’s ME!
And then we’re friends.
Because. . .?
Because you need to tell me who I. . .
No, you need to love me
To love Me
TO LOV E ME!

Yeah, that’s . . .ME!
The Class President.
The Kid Who Likes Japan.
The Jesus Freak.
The Math Geek.
The One In Latin Club.
Please love me.

Who are you again?

Don’t you know me? You don’t?

Then. . .
I wonder . . .
Could I be the kid. . .
Who was misunderstood. . .
And unknown. . .
And hung himself from his backyard tree?
And shot herself with her dad’s pistol?
Then it’d all be over. . .
And they’d know ME.
They’d remember ME.
They’d remember.

Wait, NO.
I must know.
Therefore I must live.

PLEASE. Someone. Anyone.
I need someone to tell me why. . .why.
Is?
There?
Anyone?
ANYONE.

And then
White purity is beheaded
by an unnamable masked something.

NO.
Don’t do that! STOP.
But what of right and WRONG?
WRONG.
No, you’re wrong and I’m RIGHT.
No, I’m RIGHT and you’re WRONG.
We’re all RIGHT and we’re all WRONG.
We’re all right and wrong.

Just be yourself.
And then you’re right.
YOURSELF.
Who are you again?

We are here
Yet we don’t even know
Who
What
When
Where
Why
How

We have inexplicable explanations
As to
Who
WE
Are

YOURSELF. Be yourself.
Be who?
No one.
We are no one.
According to . . .
Purpose
What purpose?
To live! To live!
But then what?
Death.
And nothing more.

Hope was a thing with feathers.
Now shot down, cloudy-eyed and bloodied.



Death.



Why do
We.
Even.
Take.
Our.
First.
Screaming.
Breath?

Even then--!
Even now--!



WE!



(we do not know.)