Addiction

July 29, 2010
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It ruled my life,
Controlling my senses,
Betraying my family,
Hurting my friends.
I had no consent.
I was addicted.


I thought I had loved him,
He treated me so well.
When he introduced me,
I didn't know he held,
Within his hands,
Living death.


I trusted him.
He said the drugs would help.
They numbed my emotions,
Took me to new highs.
At first I did it out of love,
Then I did it out of fear.


Each day I passed my sister.
She looked so sad.
I missed her so much,
But he took up all my time.
Guilt stabbed my heart.
I looked away.


It became a part of me.
Smoking, snorting, injecting,
Natural as breathing.
I needed it to survive.


When he and I were together,
It was no longer magical.
There was no love.
He had never hurt me,
But somehow,
I believed he would if I left.


The drugs made us malicious.
He would scream,
I would scream,
Then go have another dose.
It took over.


The drugs gave me purpose,
They gave me a reason to live.
I could see my sister missing me,
But I couldn't bring myself to fix it.


She and I used to be so close.
We'd talk about our parents,
We'd gush about boys,
We'd gossip about friends.
Each second was spent together,
And now I never saw her.


She once asked me why I ignored her,
I shrugged her off.
Unable to say,
Guilty as charged.


He began giving me more,
Powerful drugs.
They scared me,
But the highs were amazing.
The highs made me forget,
How I treated my sister.


I once told him,
I wouldn't take the drugs.
He laughed at me.
I protested,
He screamed.
An hour later,
I was high.
Who won?


One day,
I stumbled home.
Then passed out.


Black.
Numb.
Nothing.


I opened my eyes,
Squinting against the lights.
Blindingly bright.
I was in a bed.
I saw my sister,
She ran over to me,
Sobbing.


"Oh, sis,"
She cried.
"What happened to you?"
Addiction happened to me.


I was in the hospital.
I had a bad high.
The memories flooded out.


She and I cried.
I told her everything.
My fears,
My worries,
My addiction.


She held me,
She promised,
"I will help you."
"Nothing will ever hurt you again."


Realization dawned upon me.
My sister cared.
My life had purpose beyond drugs.
And I had been a terrible sister.


Months passed by.
Therapy,
Rehabilitation centers,
My sister was there,
Every single day.
He was nowhere to be seen.


Each day was a battle.
I craved the drugs.
My sister reassured me.
She gave me the strength I needed.


Now,
Therapy is over.
I am cured.
I still fight the addiction.
You crave it once,
It takes over.


I will never be the same.
My sister knows,
She helps me.
The addiction lessens,
But never dies.


He comes back,
One day.
I cry seeing him,
Yet I don't have to say a word.


My sister jumps forward,
Screaming,
Swearing,
Insulting,
She kicks him out the door.


I sob,
She comforts me.
"He won't ever come back, sis."
"I won't let him try to ruin you again."
Her words give me strength.


To this day,
The addiction never dies.
But now,
It's barely noticeable.
My sister was my lifeline,
She helped me survive.


And now,
A new addiction.
I'm addicted to my sister.
This addiction,
A happy one.
I love my sister.





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This article has 5 comments. Post your own now!

mwahxandxmwa said...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 12:52 am
wow could have fooled me! well thats besides the point :D you are a great writer and you certainly did capture the right emotions...keep writing :D
 
mwahxandxmwa said...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Even though you have a pain that makes it so realistic, you still have a flow, and i think because for you it has come from a place all so real it carries that rawness through. Very talented :D
 
Safyre replied...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 12:41 am
I actually did not base this piece off a personal experience for once. I'm glad I could sTill capture the right emotions.
 
Shminkanator5000 said...
Aug. 19, 2010 at 8:19 pm
wow. That was simply powerful. A really powerful message and you wrote it so beautifully. I really loved this. I read your other article called I'm Leaving, and this shows me even more how talented you are. nice job!
 
Safyre replied...
Aug. 22, 2010 at 12:42 am
Thank you so much
 
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