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Boston

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A secret learned
A tear fallen
My heart weeps
Your friendship is stolen
Alone, you go
To find a new life
All alone, and hurt
Feeling of the sharp knife,
The images and sounds
Never truly fades.
I can only imagine
The horrid chapter in your book’s page.
I want to take it all away;
The pain, the memories, the life you must now live in.
Eyes flat, soul abducted,
Body torn, unwillingly given.
I wish I could help, but there’s no turning back now.
You are leaving, I wish I could stop you
And help you fight the foul
Creature who has touched your
Beauty, your innocence.
Took what was not his
And left hate and fear in his absence.
So you go, far, far away
And I may never see you again.
But I want you to know
You have my love, my help, my heart, my friend,
Whenever you may need me.





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WTCTheRedGlove said...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 1:54 pm
As always the rhyming is expressive. However in my honest opinion I always feel like you're sort of spoon feeding the poem. I guess it's all about preference here. But at the end of the poem I feel as if I figured the ending in the middle. It's honest criticism, but I'm not saying it's bad.
 
Katherine1 replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 2:01 pm
What do you mean by 'spoon fed'?
 
WTCTheRedGlove replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Maybe spoon fed isn't the right term. Predictable is more appropriate. Look at the fourth line of the first stanza. "Your friendship is stolen". Right there and then I knew the whole poem. The situation and the feeling. I read a lot of Robert Frost. And I usually need to read his poems 5-8 times before I even get the bare knowledge of what he was trying to express. With "Boston", I had already figured the theme and meaning. Maybe I wasn't use to this sort of 'free-verse'. Therefor it felt 'spoon... (more »)
 
Katherine1 replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 2:11 pm
thank you for your honesty, i just wrote this in a rush about a month ago because i couldnt go to sleep without getting it out of me. Im pretty sure i havent made changes to it since
 
WTCTheRedGlove replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Well it doesn't really need to be changed. Maybe edit it? Anyways. Would mind checking out my poetry? I'd greatly appreciate.
 
Katherine1 replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 2:14 pm
sure thing :) could you look at those forums i told you about in the last poem?
 
WTCTheRedGlove replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 2:15 pm
Of course. 
 
riley... said...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 8:13 pm
i must say, you are one of the best free-verse poets on this sight. you say so much without a distinct rhyme pattern, i wish i had that talent. 5/5 :)
 
riley... replied...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 8:14 pm
*site, not sight.
 
KatLB replied...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Wow, thats a huge compliment. Thank you! This is one of my most recent writings, its about how I felt the night my friend told me she had been raped and she was moving to Boston.
 
KatLB replied...
Aug. 15, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Wow, thank you. Thats a huge compliment. I wrote this to help me sleep, because that night my friend told me she had been raped, and was moving to Boston forever. It's from my point of view of the situation.
 
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