I don't understand Why

July 24, 2010
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Why are you acting this way?
Why are you so blind?
Why can't you see that he's not the one?
That you've been blinded by his lies?

Why are you so different?
Will it ever be the same?
When will your eyes open?

You said that you never seen it;
But you see now...
you see my hurt,my pain.my cry
why won't you set me free,
of this tragedy?!

I feel like I don't know you
Like we've never met
Although years ago your all i talked about...

I'm here, I'm me
you can't erase what happened
pretend that it never did
cause you'd be living a L-I-E!





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This article has 17 comments. Post your own now!

SilverSnowflakes said...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 4:00 pm

I like this! I'm going to go through and complain about the grammar though - 

"you never seen it" should be "you've never seen it" or "you never saw it"

"your all i talked" should be "you're all I talked"

 

"cause you'd be living a L-I-E" you'd want to put "an" in front of the L, and "cause" as a short form of because is not a word, so it needs a little single quotation mark/apostrophe thing before it like 'cause. Also I misread this as "'cause you're a l... (more »)

 
Damara...C replied...
Sept. 10, 2010 at 3:08 pm
umm yeah i guess ur right but man i dont know i suck at grammar kinda but there is a poetic lisense thing right so ..... does it really matter alot in my stories i would try to watch out for that     and one more thing what do i have to do in order to change it without getting it reapproved again......?
 
SilverSnowflakes replied...
Sept. 10, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I don't think you can change it without getting it approved again... I think you have to rewrite it, submit it, and then ask them to delete this one (via email).
 
Damara...C replied...
Sept. 10, 2010 at 5:34 pm
ahhhhman im not doin that its fine the way it is lol it takes to long to get approved : / not fair u should be able to fix it up a little
 
Ashley P. said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 2:36 pm
i sher will ! im whating on a bunch of stuffto
 
A.Dreamer said...
Aug. 27, 2010 at 9:39 pm
I agree wtih CallMeFelix, if you made it flow slightly smoother, this could be an amazing piece of work. But this is good too. :)
 
CallMeFelix said...
Aug. 25, 2010 at 7:34 am
Good Job =) Just smooth it out a bit. Keep writing!
 
chipsandguacamollie said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 8:53 pm
I like the idea of this poem.  It has a lot of feeling, and it has a nice flow.  There are so grammatical errors ("You've said you never seen it") and I'd simplify some of the punctuation, but overall nice job!
 
mandapanda9736 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 24, 2010 at 7:25 am
awesome! great job, keep it up!
 
cindywindy said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm
AWESOME ! (:
 
Ashley P. said...
Aug. 21, 2010 at 4:20 pm
can u look and comint on my work to ?
 
Ashley P. said...
Aug. 14, 2010 at 3:40 pm
trult amzing !
 
Mara15 replied...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 5:20 pm
thanks...:)
 
Damara...C replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 3:36 pm
yes ill look  and comment on ur work too
 
Ashley P. replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 5:11 pm
thanks you !
 
Damara...C replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 11:21 pm
no problem  aha umm i am waiting on 7 more things to be accepted so if my stuff makes it will u chack it out please
 
Damara...C replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 11:22 pm
*********check
 
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