I don't understand Why

July 24, 2010
By Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!


Why are you acting this way?
Why are you so blind?
Why can't you see that he's not the one?
That you've been blinded by his lies?

Why are you so different?
Will it ever be the same?
When will your eyes open?

You said that you never seen it;
But you see now...
you see my hurt,my pain.my cry
why won't you set me free,
of this tragedy?!

I feel like I don't know you
Like we've never met
Although years ago your all i talked about...

I'm here, I'm me
you can't erase what happened
pretend that it never did
cause you'd be living a L-I-E!



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This article has 17 comments.


on Sep. 10 2010 at 5:34 pm
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!

ahhhhman im not doin that its fine the way it is lol it takes to long to get approved : / not fair u should be able to fix it up a little

paperflowers said...
on Sep. 10 2010 at 3:09 pm
paperflowers, Imaginary, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 176 comments
I don't think you can change it without getting it approved again... I think you have to rewrite it, submit it, and then ask them to delete this one (via email).

on Sep. 10 2010 at 3:08 pm
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!

umm yeah i guess ur right but man i dont know i suck at grammar kinda but there is a poetic lisense thing right so ..... does it really matter alot in my stories i would try to watch out for that     and one more thing what do i have to do in order to change it without getting it reapproved again......?

paperflowers said...
on Sep. 9 2010 at 4:00 pm
paperflowers, Imaginary, Indiana
0 articles 0 photos 176 comments

I like this! I'm going to go through and complain about the grammar though - 

"you never seen it" should be "you've never seen it" or "you never saw it"

"your all i talked" should be "you're all I talked"

 

"cause you'd be living a L-I-E" you'd want to put "an" in front of the L, and "cause" as a short form of because is not a word, so it needs a little single quotation mark/apostrophe thing before it like 'cause. Also I misread this as "'cause you're a living L-I-E!" which also sounded good, lol. keep up the good work! :)


on Aug. 28 2010 at 2:36 pm
jcampgirl PLATINUM, New Caney, Texas
34 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
when you lie to someone you tell them thay are not worth the truth

i sher will ! im whating on a bunch of stuffto

on Aug. 27 2010 at 9:39 pm
Just.A.Dream SILVER, Lake Geneva, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 431 comments

Favorite Quote:
Part of the J7X team. :)

I agree wtih CallMeFelix, if you made it flow slightly smoother, this could be an amazing piece of work. But this is good too. :)

on Aug. 25 2010 at 7:34 am
ForeverFelix PLATINUM, Catasauqua, Pennsylvania
30 articles 2 photos 207 comments

Favorite Quote:
Daydreams can be worse than nightmares, but that never stops me.

Good Job =) Just smooth it out a bit. Keep writing!

on Aug. 24 2010 at 8:53 pm
chipsandguacamollie SILVER, Parker, Colorado
8 articles 4 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Knowledge is a polite word for dead but not buried imagination." - E. E. Cummings

I like the idea of this poem.  It has a lot of feeling, and it has a nice flow.  There are so grammatical errors ("You've said you never seen it") and I'd simplify some of the punctuation, but overall nice job!

on Aug. 24 2010 at 7:25 am
amandap PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
31 articles 0 photos 183 comments
awesome! great job, keep it up!

on Aug. 23 2010 at 11:22 pm
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!

*********check

on Aug. 23 2010 at 11:21 pm
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!

no problem  aha umm i am waiting on 7 more things to be accepted so if my stuff makes it will u chack it out please

on Aug. 23 2010 at 5:11 pm
jcampgirl PLATINUM, New Caney, Texas
34 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
when you lie to someone you tell them thay are not worth the truth

thanks you !

on Aug. 23 2010 at 3:36 pm
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!

yes ill look  and comment on ur work too

on Aug. 23 2010 at 3:32 pm
AWESOME ! (:

on Aug. 21 2010 at 4:20 pm
jcampgirl PLATINUM, New Caney, Texas
34 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
when you lie to someone you tell them thay are not worth the truth

can u look and comint on my work to ?

on Aug. 20 2010 at 5:20 pm
Damara...C GOLD, Mings Bight, Other
11 articles 0 photos 40 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Accept me for who I am, or, watch me as I go"!

thanks...:)

on Aug. 14 2010 at 3:40 pm
jcampgirl PLATINUM, New Caney, Texas
34 articles 1 photo 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
when you lie to someone you tell them thay are not worth the truth

trult amzing !


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