DESPERATE

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This is
A cry for help.
It began with a cut, several cuts,
Three hundred cuts, in a row up my arm,
You didn’t understand.
I changed it up, I threw it up
Every bite I ate
You didn’t understand.
I lied
I told everyone how much I hated you
You thought I meant it.
You didn’t understand.
I stole your things
You found them, took them back
You didn’t understand.
I shot it up, the drugs you’d never condone,
I snorted it, smoked it, crushed it, popped it
You took them away
You didn’t understand.
Now here I am, a nervous wreck of a girl,
I’ve destroyed myself,
The hospital you put me in, they knew
But they didn’t tell you,
It’s all for you.
I just want you to love me.
I’m a scared little girl, who’s never been good enough,
I tried and it wasn’t enough,
So I went the other way, I flipped things around,
Yes it was for attention, but no one elses
But yours.
I just want my mom.
Mom, I wanted you to notice me,
And care, and try to help, and give me a hug.
All I did
Was disappoint you further.
And I’m terribly sorry. Because I’m still
Trying to catch your attention
And it’s been killing me,
Look at my starving, drugged, scarred body,
Look at it and love it,
Love it because it’s the body of your daughter
And she needs help, but she only wants it from you.





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