short light brown hair, cut in
a puddingbowl haircut with
bangs spilling over your
pretty hazel eyes,
this is how i picture you.

when we were little girls,
making up jump rope rhymes in
our auntie anna’s driveway, and
getting lost playing hide and seek in the
woods behind grandma and grandpa’s,
that’s what i think of when
i think of you.

daddy always said that you
never know what you’ve got until
it’s gone.

well, you’re here.

you’re here, your
hair dyed chinese house red and
pulled back from those
same hazel eyes, but
somehow those eyes aren’t
bright and lit up when you
smile at me, and
i can’t look in your eyes and
know what you’re thinking without
you telling me.

not like how i used to.

you’re still here but
somehow you’re not as
beautiful as you used to be, and
it’s like you’re a stranger with
the same name.

you’re not you, though
you hug me still but your hugs don’t comfort me
anymore, and you say that you still
love me like a sister, but
i almost never see you now, and
when i do, it’s like you’re not
really there, and you’re always
running out and leaving me.

but you once told me,
“i love my family, and
i’ll never leave you, annie”, so
i’m just waiting, i know
it’s not today, but
someday you’ll come back to
stay.

but right now i’m just

waiting for you to stay.