Incomprehensible

July 10, 2010
By teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
41 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing gold can stay" -Robert Frost


I step outside
a strangling heat engulfs me at every corner
slowly my body relaxes,
as if allowing this intruder to enter
I can't breathe,
sweat starts rolling down my face, my back, my arms and legs
but I can't move,
I am a deadweight
my eyes are open but they don't see
my arms are hurting but I am numb
a light breeze wafts through,
coming to my rescue,
cooling off my body,
allowing movement
I raise a shaking hand to my cheek,
the sweat is still
dripping, pouring, trickling,
down my face
but it isn't sweat,
this substance is coming from a different source,
one that is used for moments of true sadness,
true heartbreak,
I take my hand away,
what I see next is
incomprehensible,
blood is coating my hand
the blood of a girl no longer in control of her self


The author's comments:
This piece is about stepping outside in summer and having the heat literally engulf you, but at the end I just wanted to give it a little twist instad of the normal mumbo-jumbo

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This article has 5 comments.


on Aug. 9 2011 at 10:33 am
WithPenAndScript DIAMOND, Venetia, Pennsylvania
72 articles 232 photos 252 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe that no matter who you are we all leave footprints on this Earth

Any time! I do too! When i see a poem I like I liek to give the write a nice long description :)

on Aug. 9 2011 at 2:01 am
teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
41 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing gold can stay" -Robert Frost

thank you so much :) i love when comments are long and explain what the readers like/dislike!

on Aug. 8 2011 at 11:37 am
WithPenAndScript DIAMOND, Venetia, Pennsylvania
72 articles 232 photos 252 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe that no matter who you are we all leave footprints on this Earth

I like how you twisted it around that was different than i thought it would be and its always good to surprise a reader with poetry. Love the description

on Aug. 31 2010 at 5:27 am
teenbookworm14 PLATINUM, Plainfield, Connecticut
41 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Nothing gold can stay" -Robert Frost

well its kind of metaphorically speaking she is so sad that shes crying tears of blood from her heart and it twists and ends up to be literal. "no longer in control" i guess kinda refers to the thing i said above, hope my expl. helped :) keep writing!

on Aug. 30 2010 at 8:31 pm
ilove2read124 GOLD, Dix Hills, New York
11 articles 0 photos 66 comments
very descriptive, but wait.im confused.how is there blood when she wipes her face?i thought it was tears, when it said heartbreak, but "no longer in control" does tht refer to cutting, or something?haha just confused


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