How can I forgive someone for something that scared me so deeply?
Not on the outside.
But emotionally.
She left me.
Abandoned me.
Then finally she tried.
And tried to get me back.
She seemed like she really wanted me back.
And I wan't sure if I wanted her back into my life.
I couldn't forgive her.
I still can't forgive her.
She hurt me.
More than anyone else could.
For years, I lived without her.
I couldn't let her bring herself back into my life.
I know she loves me.
But she did so many things to make her dangerous.
Drinking.
Drugs.
Smoking.
Parties.
Leaving me home alone as a young child.
How could I let her back in when I wasn't completely sure she was finally safe?
Well.
She found a way to get back into my life.
And now.
She's still saying she loves me.
But I'm not sure I love her back anymore.