Salvation in the Sun

July 9, 2010
By Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran


Running through darkening streets
My bloodied, bare feet kiss cold pavement
Dark silence that is otherworldly
Meets my ears and delivers threats

I look to my left and see
A quilt of shadows fall swiftly upon
The finger-like towers that trace the sky
And make them crumble

I look to my right and see
Ancient trees shaking hands
And whispering heartfelt goodbyes
Then withering into the dirt

I look skyward and witness
The moon breaking into white pieces
Each floating sadly apart
In different directions

All around me portions of the world
Are delivered into darkness
It is like a nightmare that killed reality
And took his mighty throne

Moaning people litter the ground
Lost souls and crumpled bodies
Their cries die at their lips
But faces are frozen in sorrow

I look towards the untouched sun
That shines sadly on the grim event
And I can sense the world falling
Slowly beneath my gliding feet

My mind touches the heart of the sun
And I think of its celestial warmth
Through gleaming tears I see my dying home
And I think of the salvation in the sun

My eyes grip the faraway sun
And I leap possessed by wild hope
As the world falls away sobbing
Into the abyss


I land upon a mourning dove
And clamber onto its back
My cold hands hold its feathered wings
Our black eyes are locked on the sun

My bird and I sail upon an endless road of sky
Never do our eyes wander behind us
Although paper voices whisper to me
Telling me to turn around

And time is twisted into a dream
Raindrops fall like a million eyes
Although there are no cotton clouds
Or cheery sky, just the sun

I feel the god of love behind me
With her golden hair
Wrapping around my spirit
And her endless, bittersweet eyes

And hanging unto the great bird’s tail
Is Death with his tempting mien
And she and he tell me stories
Of the salvation in the sun

I picture the bliss of letting go
Of my faithful mourning dove’s
Beating wings and falling
Blissfully and gracefully into oblivion

But I am called forward by
Something in the depth of my heart
Tears in my eyes, silence on my lips
I am wistful for the salvation in the sun


The author's comments:
This was inspired by a very vivid dream I had.

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This article has 25 comments.


leafy said...
on Dec. 21 2011 at 3:12 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

Aren't bright and memorable dreams just delightful? It is no easy task to transfer them to paper, but yet again, you have succeeded.

on Aug. 8 2011 at 11:17 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 565 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

speechless.

Aderes47 GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 1:02 am
Aderes47 GOLD, Cambridge, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 897 comments

Favorite Quote:
You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.
Henry Drummond

Soemtimes I don't know what to say about your poetry because it's that good.

Your poem reminds me of the songs Viva la Vida by Coldplay and Bolevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.


on Sep. 20 2010 at 5:18 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Thank you for your diverse adjectives. I gave a gleeful, bashful giggle as I heard each one though I don't know what effervescent means. I'm forever grateful for your kindness.

on Sep. 20 2010 at 4:21 pm
IamtheshyStargirl PLATINUM, Lothlorien, Utah
44 articles 16 photos 2216 comments

Favorite Quote:
Boredom instigates extreme creativity.
~Amoniel

"Bowing gratefully to all of my subjects, 'thank you. Thank you. The pleasure is mine." Nah, I'm just kidding. We're all kings together.'"
~Thesilentraven

I.... don't know what to say about this, it was profound, and poignant, gorgeous, and effervescent. (Really like that word)

Amazing, beautiful, shining, and glorious. (I'm also fond of many adjectives used to describe the whole feeling of a thing.)


krazyk GOLD said...
on Sep. 14 2010 at 5:00 pm
krazyk GOLD, Modesto, California
11 articles 5 photos 26 comments
lol. great! you should haha. i will too. =P.

on Sep. 14 2010 at 4:59 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I will keep writing, I guarantee it.

krazyk GOLD said...
on Sep. 14 2010 at 4:49 pm
krazyk GOLD, Modesto, California
11 articles 5 photos 26 comments
This is quite a beautiful piece of writing! I love the title and all of the contents within the poem. =]. Great job and keep writing! =].

on Sep. 9 2010 at 1:49 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Whoops. :)

on Sep. 9 2010 at 1:48 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Thank you very much! I am always delighted to hear from such kind commenters, you have made my day! I'm glad that you liked it and that the feeling of it came to you fairly easily. Thanks again!

on Sep. 9 2010 at 1:48 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Thank you very much! I am always delighted to hear from such kind commenters, you have made my day! I'm glad that you liked it and that the feeling of it came to you fairly easily. Thanks again!

on Sep. 8 2010 at 10:54 pm
DreamWriter17 PLATINUM, Marengo, Indiana
34 articles 1 photo 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
learn from your past to live for the future.

Psht, you are not alone in fearing the Revalation, my friend.  It is something that I both dread and look forward to.  

on Sep. 8 2010 at 9:40 am
aquarius SILVER, Lancaster, Pennsylvania
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"unwelcome truths are not popular."

Oh my goodness. This was incredible. I've read it about five times already. The imagery is amazing--I can really see the desolate scene, and feel the hope of reaching the sun...Really amazing. I applaud you.

As the author below me pointed out, the symbolism is undeniable, but merely alluded to, giving the work a truly poetic feel. I love the way it doesn't rhyme, but the rhythm carries the sentences forward as if they do rhyme. 

Sorry for the long post! I usually get enthusiastic about really good pieces! Overall, I loved this, and I don't see why it shouldn't be published somewhere . [:


on Sep. 7 2010 at 8:30 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

You found one of my intentions exactly (although this was a dream). Sorry if this is frank, but Revelations scares me to death. I try to keep my eyes on the Genesis end. :) Thank you, I'm waiting to see if my dove wears out.

on Sep. 7 2010 at 12:08 am
DreamWriter17 PLATINUM, Marengo, Indiana
34 articles 1 photo 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
learn from your past to live for the future.

I see a lot of religious symbolism in this.  The dove, salvation, death, love, a failing earth and dying souls.  Reminds me of the Revelations.  Haunting, but scary because of the fact that it is true.  Not sure if that's the case here, but whatever the case is, it is awesome, as always.  I hope your dove's wings never get tired.

on Aug. 30 2010 at 5:32 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

I thank you both dearly. This was simply a dream; I am yet to interpret it fully. I admit I had not intended the paradox. But thanks for the pen, mine ran out of ink.

on Aug. 29 2010 at 8:46 pm
Marlyre PLATINUM, Kalamazoo, Michigan
21 articles 0 photos 208 comments

Favorite Quote:
"when you cry, do you waste your tears?" Madonna

at first I thought it was just a snippet of malapropism, with the interpretation being The Son, but then the whole poem evokes this grim picture and maybe the sun is just another word for light... either way beautiful stuff

on Aug. 29 2010 at 5:39 pm
chrisbriones GOLD, Anaheim, California
11 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I believe nothing can be justly and completely explained by words."

Just one thing i suggest you fix: "A quilt of shadows falling swiftly upon..." It's correct this way and it'd be consistent with your following stanzas.

Aside from that one grammatical detail, I was completely taken aback by your vivid imagery and clever personification. Just like your other poem, you prove majestic in the art of crafting a world so crisp and clear that the reader cannot help but succumb to your eloquence. I have no favorite part in this poem, merely because it would be unjust to choose simply one.

Your poem speaks of courage and devotion when none is available. Of beautiful, everlasting hope. I did notice one thing: should you of fallen off then you would of landed into oblivion, but if you continued towards the "salvation in the sun," then wouldn't that be oblivion as well? Or perhaps the preferred portal to death, where glory abide and such Biblical promises reside? Whether or not you intended this paradox, it is genius. Provokes and leaves me wanting to know the end.

I lay my pen to you. Keep writing.


on Aug. 23 2010 at 8:41 pm
Thesilentraven PLATINUM, Mableton, Georgia
40 articles 2 photos 1634 comments

Favorite Quote:
"il piu nell' uno," (according to Emerson, an Italian expression for beauty)

"Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" ~Emily Dickinson

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain"
~Kahlil Gibran

Ah, you're too kind. And look: you made me blush!

on Aug. 20 2010 at 10:11 am
pinkypromise23 PLATINUM, Cranston, Rhode Island
30 articles 0 photos 414 comments

Favorite Quote:
i know that you believe you understand what you think i said, but im not sure you realize that what you heard is not what i meant.

this is really good. i love the line 'a quilt of shadows fall swiftly upon the finger like towers that trace the sky' 5 stars(;


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