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Salvation in the Sun

Running through darkening streets
My bloodied, bare feet kiss cold pavement
Dark silence that is otherworldly
Meets my ears and delivers threats

I look to my left and see
A quilt of shadows fall swiftly upon
The finger-like towers that trace the sky
And make them crumble

I look to my right and see
Ancient trees shaking hands
And whispering heartfelt goodbyes
Then withering into the dirt

I look skyward and witness
The moon breaking into white pieces
Each floating sadly apart
In different directions

All around me portions of the world
Are delivered into darkness
It is like a nightmare that killed reality
And took his mighty throne

Moaning people litter the ground
Lost souls and crumpled bodies
Their cries die at their lips
But faces are frozen in sorrow

I look towards the untouched sun
That shines sadly on the grim event
And I can sense the world falling
Slowly beneath my gliding feet

My mind touches the heart of the sun
And I think of its celestial warmth
Through gleaming tears I see my dying home
And I think of the salvation in the sun

My eyes grip the faraway sun
And I leap possessed by wild hope
As the world falls away sobbing
Into the abyss


I land upon a mourning dove
And clamber onto its back
My cold hands hold its feathered wings
Our black eyes are locked on the sun

My bird and I sail upon an endless road of sky
Never do our eyes wander behind us
Although paper voices whisper to me
Telling me to turn around

And time is twisted into a dream
Raindrops fall like a million eyes
Although there are no cotton clouds
Or cheery sky, just the sun

I feel the god of love behind me
With her golden hair
Wrapping around my spirit
And her endless, bittersweet eyes

And hanging unto the great bird’s tail
Is Death with his tempting mien
And she and he tell me stories
Of the salvation in the sun

I picture the bliss of letting go
Of my faithful mourning dove’s
Beating wings and falling
Blissfully and gracefully into oblivion

But I am called forward by
Something in the depth of my heart
Tears in my eyes, silence on my lips
I am wistful for the salvation in the sun





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leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 21, 2011 at 3:12 pm
Aren't bright and memorable dreams just delightful? It is no easy task to transfer them to paper, but yet again, you have succeeded.
 
Aderes18 said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 1:02 am

Soemtimes I don't know what to say about your poetry because it's that good.

Your poem reminds me of the songs Viva la Vida by Coldplay and Bolevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.

 
IamtheStargirl said...
Sept. 20, 2010 at 4:21 pm

I.... don't know what to say about this, it was profound, and poignant, gorgeous, and effervescent. (Really like that word)

Amazing, beautiful, shining, and glorious. (I'm also fond of many adjectives used to describe the whole feeling of a thing.)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 20, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Thank you for your diverse adjectives. I gave a gleeful, bashful giggle as I heard each one though I don't know what effervescent means. I'm forever grateful for your kindness.
 
krazyk said...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 4:49 pm
This is quite a beautiful piece of writing! I love the title and all of the contents within the poem. =]. Great job and keep writing! =].
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I will keep writing, I guarantee it.
 
krazyk replied...
Sept. 14, 2010 at 5:00 pm
lol. great! you should haha. i will too. =P.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Thank you very much! I am always delighted to hear from such kind commenters, you have made my day! I'm glad that you liked it and that the feeling of it came to you fairly easily. Thanks again!
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Whoops. :)
 
xlivelaughlove This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 9:40 am

Oh my goodness. This was incredible. I've read it about five times already. The imagery is amazing--I can really see the desolate scene, and feel the hope of reaching the sun...Really amazing. I applaud you.

As the author below me pointed out, the symbolism is undeniable, but merely alluded to, giving the work a truly poetic feel. I love the way it doesn't rhyme, but the rhythm carries the sentences forward as if they do rhyme. 

Sorry for the long post! I usuall... (more »)

 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 9, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Thank you very much! I am always delighted to hear from such kind commenters, you have made my day! I'm glad that you liked it and that the feeling of it came to you fairly easily. Thanks again!
 
DreamWriter15 said...
Sept. 7, 2010 at 12:08 am
I see a lot of religious symbolism in this.  The dove, salvation, death, love, a failing earth and dying souls.  Reminds me of the Revelations.  Haunting, but scary because of the fact that it is true.  Not sure if that's the case here, but whatever the case is, it is awesome, as always.  I hope your dove's wings never get tired.
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 7, 2010 at 8:30 pm
You found one of my intentions exactly (although this was a dream). Sorry if this is frank, but Revelations scares me to death. I try to keep my eyes on the Genesis end. :) Thank you, I'm waiting to see if my dove wears out.
 
DreamWriter15 replied...
Sept. 8, 2010 at 10:54 pm
Psht, you are not alone in fearing the Revalation, my friend.  It is something that I both dread and look forward to.  
 
chrisbriones said...
Aug. 29, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Just one thing i suggest you fix: "A quilt of shadows falling swiftly upon..." It's correct this way and it'd be consistent with your following stanzas.

Aside from that one grammatical detail, I was completely taken aback by your vivid imagery and clever personification. Just like your other poem, you prove majestic in the art of crafting a world so crisp and clear that the reader cannot help but succumb to your eloquence. I have no favorite part in this poem, merely because it ... (more »)

 
Marlyre This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 29, 2010 at 8:46 pm
at first I thought it was just a snippet of malapropism, with the interpretation being The Son, but then the whole poem evokes this grim picture and maybe the sun is just another word for light... either way beautiful stuff
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 30, 2010 at 5:32 pm
I thank you both dearly. This was simply a dream; I am yet to interpret it fully. I admit I had not intended the paradox. But thanks for the pen, mine ran out of ink.
 
pinkypromise23 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 10:11 am
this is really good. i love the line 'a quilt of shadows fall swiftly upon the finger like towers that trace the sky' 5 stars(;
 
Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Ah, you're too kind. And look: you made me blush!
 
Boosflash This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 8, 2010 at 10:37 pm
i love the way you wrote this. it could've just been "yeah i dreamed the world was dying and then there was this bird..." but the poem was so much more than that. "there cries die at their lips,dark silence that is other worldy meets my ears and delivers threats". love it captain. 5 stars. love it.
 
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