Ode to Someone

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Beautiful you are
Though you may have some scars
Your corky ways
Light up the days
They love your smile and how you laugh
If only you were their other half

You make them beg
Even for a turkey leg
To see you happy
Would make everything less crappie

So darling
To you they say
Start their morning
On this beloved day





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OriginalCarbonation said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 9:42 pm
i really like the beginning stanza, im a little lost with what you intended me to understand from the rest, but the general idea of this is really amazing. writing an ode to someone, even if you  dont necessarily know them, you do know them because they are human just like you. fabulous!
 
SpringRayyn said...
Jan. 1, 2011 at 12:59 am
I like the beginning two lines, but frankly it seems to go downhill from there. 1: I think you mean the word 'quirky' not 'corky.' 2: 'You make them beg even for a turkey leg'? 3: I laughed at "make everything less crappy". In a nice way, I see it as. 4: I think that it could be better at the end if you told the whole thing as yourself talking to another person about how you want them to be your friend and not them. That's if you keep the same topic. I think it'd be a good idea if ... (more »)
 
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