Playful Agony

Good poem. A problem, though, you have it under free verse even though it rhymed, lol.

But seriously, I like this. But the 'twas' and 'alas' seemed out of place. 4/5

I don't have a problem at all with using words such as 't'was' and 'alas', but I just don't think they flowed well in this poem.  I thought when you used, "t'was", you hadn't built up much of an atmosphere that would accomodate that word.  The poem didn;t have an olden day feel to it, and when you used 't'was' is seemed very out-of-the-blue and random.  Same thing went for alas.  This felt like a very good 21 century poem, with some odd back-in-the-day words mixed in.

wow this was pretty awesome (I'm not just saying that it was pretty good) The only thing I might change would be words like "T'was" and "alas" because they're obsolete in the year 2010

And it's usually not a good idea to write in passive tense so much but this is poetry and it's fun so it still works lol

wow this is really good, i actually kinda liked that you switch the styles during the middle of the poem, it makes it unique. 5/5

btw-can you check out some of my stuff if you get the chance?