Bitterly Torn

July 31, 2010
By , Brownsville, TX
I loved you and lied
Which has torn my insides
My heart thumped when we talked
But now it’s trapped shut with locks
I’ll live so be happy for me and you
Since we just threw out what was true
The tears that ran down my cheeks
Don’t worry, it was just a leak
I know my bitter sarcasm won’t do much
But it makes up for love and as such
Good bye my once faithful love
Now you don’t have to deal with my ‘stuff’

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This article has 7 comments. Post your own now!

emmacxoxo said...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 7:54 pm
this was really good, it reflected how ive felt fr a long time. awesome job...check out sum of my stuff if u want
chastity said...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 11:04 pm

wow ilove it its really expressed check some of mine out


crubs3 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 8:39 pm
This is so amazing!! i love the emotion and description!!! If you could please rate and comment on my work that would be great!! thanks and ur sooo good!!!
MercedesXO said...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 5:33 pm

this is great!! i love the ending and how you tie it all in. the somplicity and the truth behind it is awesome. great work:)

i'd love it if you (or anyone else reading this) could check out some of my work. especially my poem 'Tortuer of a King' appriciated:)

Collado92 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 3, 2010 at 11:51 pm

I really like this, I have totally felt this way b4 I like the simplcity and the way you get the point across, nice work.


Please read and comment some of my work and let me know what you think.

poetry4life replied...
Aug. 4, 2010 at 11:04 am
Thanks! All I did was take what I've felt or seen and I guess that's where the simplicity comes from
Jaredwritescoolstuff replied...
Aug. 5, 2010 at 3:49 pm
I definitly think some of the best poems come out of this simplicity, I really liked the emotion you got across, if you are thinking about revising, maybe a little more concrete images would be effective, maybe to describe who the speaker is talking to/about. Great poem!
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