All I Do, To Be Beautiful | Teen Ink

All I Do, To Be Beautiful

July 9, 2010
By Anonymous

All I do, To Be Beautiful
A little nibble here
A little nibble there
Just to keep the prying eyes away.
No one needs to know.

The growl haunts you
Day and night,
That tiny rumble
You hear while you lay in the dark.

The excuses use to be none existent
Now the just slip out like an every day sentence
Oh I already ate, don’t worry about it I’m full.
No one has to know.

The flowing shirts to hide the prodding ribs.
The loose sweatpants to cover up the boney knees.
No one is the wiser.
Until that one day comes.

People ask are you ok
You smile and say yeah I’m fine.
You fool no one.
Everyone knows.

All those things you did to hide
Crumble away.
Everyone watching your every move,
Just waiting for you to break.

It becomes to much,
All the stares, and whispers.
They dive you into a deeper spiral.
Thinking, maybe just maybe I need to skip that one meal.

Looking into the mirror you see ugly.
That fat little girl you once were.
The flashbacks of everyone laughing and pointing,
Drive you to just one more time throw up that invisible meal.

No one needs to know that I don’t feel beautiful.
They have no idea what I am going through,
Do they know,
All I do to be beautiful.


The author's comments:
I wrote this not to long ago about my battle with Anorexia.

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This article has 3 comments.


Sencere BRONZE said...
on Aug. 12 2010 at 12:41 pm
Sencere BRONZE, Annapolis, Maryland
2 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why am I fighting to live, when I'm just living to fight. Why am I trying to see when there ain't nothing in sight. Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try. Why am I dying to live, when I'm just living to die.

good job 5 stars

Sencere BRONZE said...
on Aug. 12 2010 at 12:40 pm
Sencere BRONZE, Annapolis, Maryland
2 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why am I fighting to live, when I'm just living to fight. Why am I trying to see when there ain't nothing in sight. Why am I trying to give when no one gives me a try. Why am I dying to live, when I'm just living to die.

The first recipe of happiness - avoid too lengthy meditations on
      the past.

                                    ~Tyra


on Aug. 5 2010 at 6:10 pm
TechieForLife GOLD, West St. Paul, Minnesota
11 articles 0 photos 38 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live each day like it is the day you will be remembered.

Oh my god. That was one of the best poems I have EVER read. It reminds me of my friend. :( But it is really really good. I am so happy you found the courage to help your body. And you. :)