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Suicidal

It was like a dream,
the devil handed me.
He place it in my arms like I was cradling god,
but the only reason he put it there,
was because he new I would fail.

The best friend
I loved,
the boy that made laughter in my morgue
and cried at birthdays because,
it gave him one year less time
to reach for the stars.
That boy,
was never happy.

Tears rocked his body to sleep at night
and his smile only showed because his frown,
was glow in the dark.

He had bullet proofed his whole body.
But the center of his heart was open
because so many people had struck him.
And with each shot,
the wound grew deeper.

He was my Davinchi
creating the machines that make the world go round.
And doing it all in black and red converse.
He is not the same.

He still dreams of the sky
because for him
it was not a limit but a goal.
And now it is somewhere
he dreams he belongs.

he... was my best friend
my verbal diary.

But that all seemed to turn around.
When god put someone above him
on his to-do list.

He lost faith
in fate.
And thought he had no reason to be in this world.
When his reason is writing stories to the ghost
of his best friend.

He was my declaration of independence.
Written on printer paper
as the lies he scribbles
scars
his quote
my new beginning.

I was his bill of rights.
Carrying his weight on my shoulders,
and dreaming that it might lift.
Showing him my favorite two commandments.

The right to bear arms.
When his arms were anything but bear.
The words
he heard off alcohol licked lips
left scars
and blood trails.

Trial and punishment.
Because for him,
punishment always seemed to come before trial.

But now
He is gone.

His black and red wings
finally carrying him from the earth
as his black and red converse fall
to the land I lie broken upon.
He was my best friend.
…...
His dreams have come true.
But mine have finally fallen through
and now,
I write letters
to anyone who might write back.
I told god.
He should really get a Face-book
because nobody...
NOBODY
is getting his messages.
And apparently he hasn't checked
any of ours.

Understand...
I will never replace you.
Just promise me you never will too.
And I will show love
to those who didn't care too.

And I will break through the wall
you built
while you still had unclenched hands
and show all those on the other side.
That our hearts still pump.
As one.





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