The 12th of december

July 7, 2010
Can you remember the 12th of December?

You remember, right?
the long strides by the moon
soft winds that carry dreams away
one fateful afternoon

You remember, right?
the softness of your hair
laughter ringing through the trees
dancing without a care

Why did you have to leave me?
Why did you have to go?
days go by painfully and long
or do you even know?

You remember, right?
sad poems in the sand
stepping in the friendly waves
tightly squeezing my hand

Your remember, right?
you'd said I'd be alright
when you breathed your last strained breath
that lonely summer's night

Can you remember the 12th of december?

Join the Discussion

This article has 7 comments. Post your own now!

AgnotTheOdd said...
Sept. 10, 2010 at 9:20 pm
This was one of the better poems i have read on this site
thepreechyteenager said...
Sept. 5, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Sorry it took me a while to respond to your comment, Teen Ink didn't email me when you did :(

Anyway, I'm not that experienced with poetry, but I'll give you what i've gathered.  The emotion is this was really good.  Stong, true, and prominent.  Detail was also very good, this made a great picture in the reader's head.  The rhyme pattern was really easy flowing, like words fit together like puzzle pieces :)  Good job!

Thesilentraven This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 2, 2010 at 7:48 pm
This is a great poem. It spoke wisely of love and loss. How dare you criticize it, despite the fact that you wrote it! :) I love the repeated lines and rhythm. Could you look at some of my work? Especially my latest memoir. Once again, well done!
Inherinerd replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 4:58 am
Thank you so much and of course i'll look at your stuff, thats why the site is here right?
thewriteidea This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 2:35 pm

I love the format of this piece! and i TOTALLY disagree with your comments about it. it is VERY good. it had me grabbed in by the first line!

check out some of my work, too if you'd like. great job on this! keep writing!!(:

Inherinerd replied...
Aug. 23, 2010 at 4:12 pm
course ill check out your work!
Inherinerd replied...
Sept. 3, 2010 at 4:58 am
I'm sorry i haven't read your stuff yet, I'll look at it as soon as i can
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