A Product of Venting

Sigh, darling.
All the things I want to say,
I want you to say to me,
I wish would happen
Get muddled in my head,
Repeating
Echoing
Until they exit that over-perceptive chaos
of mine
All the words coming out at once
As a sigh, love.

I say two words to you,
You say one.
Is it a case of one step forward, two
steps back?
Or am I just falling backwards altogether?
Will you catch me, love?
Or will I have to catch myself … again?
And again
And again
And when does it all end?
Do you know, darling?
Do you care?

Are you aware that I can't stand
walking away?
That it hurts even more when you don't try?
And who am I
To know your schedule,
Favorite pen,
Plans for the future,
Wants
Desires
Needs
And understand it all
Just to care too much?
For now, I close my eyes
Because I don't know who I am
And I don't know what you see.

Believe me
I try to time everything just right –
“Walk faster … now slower … cut that
corner … run!”
Only to be flawed.
But every time I'm actually not looking
for you –
You're finally out of my mind,
I'll live –
Bam! There you are
Taunting me.
Either a sick sense of humor
Or … I'm wanted.

I'm questioning it all
Because it just seems that unnatural.
One moment you're walking away
The next you're looking at me in that way
That stains my cheeks red
And that small tingle creeps over me.
Now you're walking away again …
Right?
Or are you circling back around this time?
My God, sometimes I just wish you knew.
There would be
No more guessing
Or disappointment
Or being sick of love.

But then,
Unfortunately, I guess, perhaps,
There would be
No more poetry.