That was it! That was the face. The face that has haunted me for years. The face i have saw in my dreams. The face i hated, loved. The face that scared me more then anything in the world. That was the face i saw. I ran from it. Because it was the scariest thing I have ever saw. What if it could hurt me. What if it was the worse thing i could ever do was to look back and think for one minute that the face i saw. Could be my friend. Could be someone i could get along with. But that face hates me, cant stand me. That face dispises me no matter what i do right or wrong. That face looks at me with a judging eye. How could i make that face like me again? How could i make that face love me unconditioaly? How could it realize im its friend no matter what it does wrong. How could I? How could I do the impossible? As I sat there in front of the mirror. The only person i could judge was myself. Someday i will learn to love myself. Be able to look in that mirror and realize the only person i could hurt is myself. And that face. That face began to love me again.
July 3, 2010