Why is it
that every time I’m happy
something has to come along
and destroy it?
Am I just not suppose to be
the happy person I pretend I am?
Am I suppose to cry
and live in misery all my life?
Am I suppose to just give in
to everything around me
and not fight for what I love?
Not try to save it?
No matter what the consequence?
I’d do anything for you.
But you wouldn’t for me.
I guess that I’m not important.
I guess that anything and everything
I hold close to me is going to be shattered.
If that’s the case why bother with love?
Why bother with friends and family?
If all it’s going to bring me is pain.
Why should I suffer
when I’ve suffered so much already?
Can I not just give up and end everything
and be happy?
Can I not just give in
and let it take me?
I’ve resisted despair for so long
but it haunts me.
Its been with me for as long as I can remember
and I don’t know what to do.
If I ask for help I’d be in trouble.
If I let it continue I’m afraid I’d die.
And I’m terrified that I can’t stand up anymore
for I don’t have the strength.
I just want to be happy
and find love but what do I get?
Heartbreak and misery.