Dear Camille

June 14, 2010
By , San Leandro, CA
I thought I would write you a letter
now I don't even know what to say
I could never allow you to believe
that you can't rely on me
so I will try to keep my hesitations at bay

I've been through
the same thing you are facing
but, It doesn't make it any easier
maybe it makes it worse

All I know, is that I feel
your pain and frustration
as if it is a part of me
or maybe it's MY pain, MY frustration
because I can't be the friend
I want to be

You see, I don't know my place
I may know what’s best for you (I think)
however it's something I can’t say
cause it might bring you more

I feel really helpless
and I want to make this right
I can't stand that I
can only be there for you
I should be fighting
by your side

I want to make it all better
heal the wounds that burn
for you right now
just so we can walk in the sun again
and carelessly joke around

But, I don’t know what you need
A shoulder to cry on?
source you can rely on?
not just a distraction
from your problems

So, I guess it's just the blind
leading the blind
I don't know
you don't know
All we know is our pain
and even that comes and goes

I want to take you away from
your suffering
I want to be strong enough
to lead you away
from tempting choices with consequences
lurking around the corner

I want you to forget your troubles with me
So we can both laugh
at something stupid
while we're on the brink of tears
for a subject we both
dare not touch on

Maybe I can be everything
Okay, maybe not every thing...
I can't replace him.
But, I will be whatever you need me to be
just please,
let me know what to do

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