i want to be flat

July 5, 2010
By , keller, TX
i think i ate too much
ugh now i feel so fat
excuse me for a second
what would do to be flat

to fit into that string bikini
like i really wish i could
i promised myself i would stop
as soon as i am looking good

doing this to myself though
i feel like im not true
looking through magazines
wanting to look like new

i wish my waist were smaller
wish i didnt have these hips
making myself throw up sometimes
just cuz i ate a few chips

i know i shouldnt be doing this
i know it is only causing pain
but i have to keep doing this
i dont want sudden weight gain

now i ask was it really worth it?
as i lay in the hospital bed
what i was doing to myself
is now a thought that i dread

i was tearing up my throat
i was so stupid and clueless
and the look on my mother's face
when she found out i was doing this

people are disappointed
they thought better of me
nobody saw it coming
beauty isn't always free

and now as i look back
i know it wasnt good for health
it was called bulimia
and i forced it on myself

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